Designing for Who We’re Becoming: How to Create a Home for Life Changes

I’m grateful. No—our home wasn’t demolished in a fire where everything went up in flames with it. But we recently experienced a house flood when a hot water pipe burst - sending up to four inches of hot water through our entire home. Every wall, including the kitchen and bathrooms, had to be fully or partially demolished for water mitigation. Anything wood, including furniture, was warped and cracked. We had to sort through wet documents and personal items. We had to relocate with whatever belongings we could save. And now, we face a slow, often emotional process of rebuilding - a process that will likely take close to a year.

You don’t have to experience a flood to relate to this. Life gives us all moments of transition - sometimes chosen, sometimes not. And as an interior designer, I’ve come to see that these moments teach us something vital: that designing a home isn’t just about where you live.

⸻

Over the years, I’ve worked with clients navigating seismic life shifts—divorces, retirements, or healing from grief. Whether they realized it or not, they were doing more than remodeling a space. They were rebuilding their sense of self.

⸻

We haven’t moved back into our house yet. We’re just beginning the remodel. But as I unpacked and started browsing for a few small things, I realized something surprising - choosing with intention feels like a way of giving shape to the present moment. Picking up a piece of clothing, a candle, a throw - now has a new feeling. My emotions have shifted in many ways. My emotions in the old house, or even how I felt last year, are different now. I have evolved.

And if I’m honest, it feels like a therapeutic way of establishing a new base point being forced to re-evaluate if I should throw away, or pack.

There’s an entire field, Environmental Psychology - that studies how our surroundings impact our mental and emotional wellbeing.

Alain de Botton wrote,

“It is architecture’s task to render vivid to us who we might ideally be.”

⸻

Letting go doesn’t have to happen all at once.

So, I’ve tucked away certain pieces - clothing, accessories, even old pillows into storage bins, not quite ready to release them, but also not wanting them in my daily space. And that’s really, okay.

In my case, the flood forced a kind of purging I hadn’t planned for. Sorting through everything, piece by piece, wasn’t always easy. But what surprised me was this:

The same goes for interior design. Those decorative pillows that have faded from the sun? I let them go. Even the old sleeping pillows and worn-out sheets (a left-over Depression-era habit my mom taught me) kept in the linen closet “just in case” were given to animal shelters.

Which made me realize I was making space for more of what serves me now.

⸻

I often think of life and design - a little like a pie. Every part of what we live with, from the objects in our home to the habits we keep, takes up a slice. And just like in a well-designed room, when one slice grows too big - whether it’s clutter, commitments, or even old patterns; everything else starts to feel squeezed.

There’s a simple tool called the Pie of Life (or Wheel of Life) originally developed by Paul J. Meyer that helps people visualize this balance. It reminds us that sometimes, it’s not about doing more or buying more, it’s about making thoughtful space so we can breathe, feel, and create.

And here’s the part I’ve come to really, believe - it’s not always about having less. Sometimes we need certain slices like creativity, joy, or rest to take up more space. Not everything has to be smaller or less to serve us well. The key is to shape a life (and a home) that holds what matters now - and leaves room for what’s yet to come.

When you’re reimagining your space, or even just sorting through the pieces of your life, ask:

• Where do I need more room to breathe? What feels too crowded? Give more space to the Pie.

• Now, do I want a bit more quality, not just less? Give more Quality to the Pie

  

The most soulful homes—and lives—are layered. They honor where we’ve been, support where we are now, and gently open space for what’s next.

⸻

As I packed up our home, I found myself sorting not just through clothing and furnishings, but something more elusive - the soundtrack of my life.

My music library, like my closet, has been a quiet companion through every version of me. Songs I once played endlessly now feel like emotional time stamps.

Music, like interiors, holds memory. It reminds us who we were, and invites us to imagine who we’re becoming.

Lately, I’ve begun curating new playlists - soundtracks for a home that hasn’t fully been built yet. Music helps me tell the story of the home before it’s even shaped.

I’ll be sharing more soon about how I weave music into my design process—and how sound can help create the emotional tone of a space.

⸻

It’s ok to acknowledge all of the emotional parts of you.
Let your space reflect not just who you’re becoming, but who you’ve been and who you are right now. The most soulful spaces are layered.

• Let things go gracefully, not with impulse.
  Purge what no longer serves you—or reposition it in a way that feels right now. Keep what still resonates. There is no perfect timeline.

• Shape your space like a pie.
  Be intentional about what takes up space in your life and home. Some slices like creativity, rest, or joy, deserve more room.

• Design for feeling, not just style.
  Layer light, scent, texture, and sound to create a home that supports your emotional wellbeing and how you want to feel in this chapter.

• Score your space like a movie.
  Let music guide the tone and emotion of your home. Curate soundtracks that help tell the story of your layered, evolving self.

• Your home shouldn’t erase where you’ve been

  We are layered, not linear. The most meaningful spaces reflect that: honoring who we’ve been, who we are, and who we’re becoming - all at once.

And my life lesson through all of this? I was already more than enough emotionally with what I had forgotten about. I just needed to sift and purge what no longer served me - or see it in a different light. Sometimes it’s not about adding more. It’s about making space for what matters, and letting that be enough. The same goes for interior design.

⸻

Related Read: If you’re exploring emotional wellbeing through design or facing a life transition, you may also resonate with my earlier piece, Impermanence in Design.