This is Writing?

When joined Substack a year ago next month, my first statement was that I’ve never been a writer. I wrote when I had to. In school. When asked to write my story as an annual fundraiser on my 21st birthday. When I wrote to my donor’s family thanking them for agreeing with my donor’s decision to give a kidney to a total stranger. I was made to write (except the donor family). It was a chore. It wasn’t natural.

Then, I decided to write a book. What was I thinking? I feel like it’s a chore. It doesn’t feel natural. Just, ahhhh. Then I found Substack (thank you Brittany Felton). I wrote a few things. They weren’t great. I still wrote. I got some followers. I got some nice comments. I wrote some more. Still not great. More followers. More comments. I got a little more confidence. I started getting comfortable.

Four months later (and 15 articles later) I wrote my first popular article. Soon after, I hit 200 subscribers. I started getting better. I started getting comfortable. I wrote 37 more articles. I was vulnerable. I was honest. I through many illnesses and hospital stays. I had stories to share. I recovered from my illness. I turned 50.

Now I’m dealing with a block. I know I have a lot more to share. I’m stuck. How am I supposed to write a book when I ran out of inspiration. I’m going through a new unknown illness that’s making me extremely fatigued and my mind hazy again. I wrote through this haze before. What’s changed? I’m trying not to beat myself up, but I don’t want to lose my writing streak. Since this is new to me, I need to let the inspiration hit me.

Considering I’m writing this to writers, I guess I’m looking for advice. Writing this is obviously a good start. I’m hoping my inspiration comes back and I get some good feedback from an amazing community. Until then, I’m going to rest. Figure out this new illness. Find my inspiration. Still comment and offer my encouragement to you all. I appreciate you all more than you know. I have grown a lot in the past year (unfortunately I also shrank an inch) and this community has been a huge part of that growth, so thank you.

I’ll be back.