A Spiritual Battle

In my most recent Substack article I wrote the following quote: “At 45, I was saved and almost immediately, my anxieties about life just went away. God’s love embraced me. Do think it was a coincidence that after I was saved, my dog, Cheddar, my roommate, Christopher and peace entered my life. There are no coincidences…”. A few days later, I shared this quote with the following note, “God changed my life after 45 years of me ignoring Him and everything He did for me. I know my future will be good because I put my future in His hands”.

I know ignore is a strong word, but I did. God was always there and I just didn’t want to see Him. All the prayers I was told I was getting. All of the prayer blankets. All of the priests who visited me in the hospital. The churches I visited in high school. My conversations with my friend and now pastor, Jared. God was there. He was trying to get my attention and I was looking elsewhere.

You know my story, I started going to Jared’s church in 2021. I did the Daniel Fast in February of that year. I wasn’t saved yet, but I started talking to God on a daily basis. I started reading the Bible daily, as well. That’s when my life started changing. First it was Cheddar, then I got a roommate. My life started getting easier. That wasn't a coincidence. Then something else was happening.

Around that same time, I started being attacked by the enemy. He tried to remove me from God’s love before I was actually saved in February the next year. I had just lost what I thought was my life’s purpose. I had been volunteering for 29 years for kids with transplants. Especially at Camp Independence, first as a counselor and eventually helping with the planning and being in charge of all the volunteers. Volunteers came to me before the actual director many times. It was where I was most comfortable in life and felt needed.

In 2021 camp came back after missing 2020 from COVID. I was not allowed back, because I couldn’t get the vaccine. I felt lost. I had just spent 9 months completely alone because of COVID and then lost my purpose. Then I met Amanda online. Over the next two years she scammed me for thousands of dollars. I sold anything that was worth anything like a signed Dr. Seuss book, my Playstation 5 and other things. I had to borrow money from friends. Jared’s church gave me money. I was just trying to be a good Christian because I was so new to the faith. Amanda had two girls and was homeless. She needed help. I started with a hundred here and a hundred there. She always promised she was going to pay me back. I met her twice (to give her cash), so I know she was real. I got in too deep and felt like I had to keep giving to get back what I had already given. 

I truly believe the enemy put her in my life to make me believe that God could make this happen to me so I would stop putting my trust in Him. Why would I trust a God that not only let me be sick my entire life, but would also put someone like Amanda in my life right when I was trying to get close to Him. It obviously didn’t work. The Devil sent some other scammers my way and I fell for their schemes because I told them about Amanda and I never thought someone could hear my story and what Amanda did and still steal from me. Loneliness obviously contributed to that, too. 

Those years were my lowest years in my life, but I conquered and overcame the enemy’s plans. I trust God more now than ever. I know He has important plans for me in the future. I have put everything in His hands and I have no more anxieties about the future and I’ve learned my lesson and the enemy won’t fool me again!

I want to end this with two verses that coincide with this part of my story:

John 14:27

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

Psalms 34:17

The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles.