Every so often, I send out a dispatch about five ways I’m finding more novelty and ease in the everyday. If you’re also questioning the mainstream motherhood script of consuming, rushing, and settling, this series is for you. I hope you find something here that’s inspiring, useful, or at least entertaining.
Happy May, dear readers! I’m writing this from our last-minute whirlwind Mediterranean trip. Funny story: When we got the surprise invite from my husband’s company, we’d already planned a summer vacation to Italy with our kids and my in-laws for June. That means we’ll be flying into Rome AGAIN in two weeks. It’s been an extreme and sudden, but obviously not unwelcome, detour from real life!
My oldest daughter turned 6 this month, and we invited seven of her friends to a ballet-themed party in our backyard. She’s been taking classes in Balboa Park for the past year, and I asked the delightful 12-year-old assistant if she was available for hire. The tween was thrilled about the gig and prepared a brief performance followed by an abbreviated ballet lesson inspired by the Swan Lake story.
We re-used the pretty Meri Meri decorations that have outfitted five parties so far, and I made a classical playlist and mini flower arrangements with Trader Joe’s tulips. It was a pretty low-key affair. I think over-engineering parties is one of the most obvious ways we can make parenthood more stressful than necessary.
Tangent: We’re in the no-gifts camp when hosting birthdays, which I recently learned is controversial. Should I write about this?
On her actual birth date, we carried out our family’s birthday rituals: 1. Hanging the birthday banner all week. 2. Picking out a birthday bloom from the flower stand around the corner. 3. Singing a song while she does a lap for each year of life around our four seasons “birthday silk.” 4. Letting her choose dinner. (This year it was revolving sushi, inspired by our recent trip to LA’s Little Tokyo.)
My husband’s family gave my daughter a new Guardian bike. (Her little sister is thrilled to take over the old one — we’ll just remove the pedals so it’s a balance bike.) My mom got her a nice hula hoop and a set of jump ropes. We gifted her a sunshine yellow Tin Can phone that we set up in our kitchen, and she’s been calling us on our trip first thing when she wakes up, while her grandparents are still asleep! We’re making a little phone book with all her friends’ numbers.
With my library hold request still ages away from being filled, I relented and picked up Lady Tremaine by Rachel Hochhauser at the airport. (It’s been on my radar since Courtney Falsey’s great author interview.) The novel is living up to the hype, and I can already imagine a screen adaptation, perhaps with Rachel Weisz and Reese Witherspoon. I also thoroughly enjoyed The Colony by Swedish writer Annika Norlin. It touches on themes of technology, society, and meaning that are on my mind a lot, and I fell in love with each of the broken and twisted personalities.
I avoid consuming many podcasts these days, but a few recent episodes have really stuck in my head, including this interview with Tristan Harris (recommended in Youngna Park’s newsletter) and this clear and enlightening overview of AI data centers. On the flight home, I plan to listen to this 2023 conversation about the “Hot Girl Hamster Wheel.” Recommended by Slightly Feral and featuring the legendary Jessica DeFino, it examines the financial and social implications of the insatiable beauty industry.
On my wish list: A Native Poppy bouquet, a family hike, and a seafood dinner. I got my peonies, we covered a few sunny-yet-shaded miles in Los Peñasquitos Canyon, and I ran into Seafood City Supermarket for a whole branzino (adventurous!) on the way home. I felt both loved and understood.
I came across this image in the brilliant Stephanie H. Murray’s notes. It’s not pretty, but it elegantly captures so much of what I write about here: urban living, walkability, unchecked consumerism, and collective hustle and anxiety.
Talk soon!
xx Rachel
Up next week: Highlights from Italy and Croatia, vacation outfits in action, and European fashion notes.
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