pro-life puzzlement

In an unforeseen series of events, I became the author of an article which, a year later, is closing in on an uncharacteristic-for-me 24,000 views. In such an instance, one become the recipient of numerous stories, commentary, links, and anecdotes—some perplexing, some heartening, some upsetting. Let me tell you about a brief one which just about radicalized me into writing this piece.

The gist is that some Christian guys were sitting around a table. Wink-wink euphemisms were used which referred to something which all the men were totally in on, as, what? An expected right of passage? Anyways, one younger guy at the table had to be told about what they meant. You might have guesses as to what I mean.

The scene took place around a table at a pro-life fundraiser.

This has been one of the more upsetting anecdotes. It’s not even that there may have been a levity about it. No, it matters little whether the conversation was serious or lighthearted. It’s the fact the picture encapsulates the widespread reality behind all this championing of the sanctity of life, the sacredness of marriage and sexuality. It feels like being utterly lied to.

As long as these anecdotes and comments persist (and they persist) we will have to talk about them.

Back to note about the pro-life fundraiser. Christians love supporting pro-life causes and organizations! We cherish the culture of life, and any chance to push back against the culture of death! Our churches and members frequently embrace the financial, material, and spiritual support of those in crisis, due to the expectation of a baby. These are worthy and very much needed endeavors. They are ones which I have been connected to in various forms ever since I was a girl.

Taking a beat from that direct vein for several years, I find myself in mid-life still enamored with related issues, from different angles. The hot-button issues of, say, sexual orientation, transgenderism or abortion have not been frequent topics of essays and articles in the roundups here at Life Considered. That is because I worry it is cheap and easy enough to point fingers at the malformation which might not be ours.

What I find far more interesting are our own intuitions. As I’ve written about here, the culture of death is not confined to killing unborn babies. The sentiments which give rise to such a practice were fostered in an entire ecosystem. I curate pieces here which counter this ecosystem with a Christian imagination on the body, sex, and procreation.

Ethics, I’ve learned, do not primarily come by way of books or classes or overt teaching for the average churchgoer. They are embedded within and passed through shared narratives. Reception of them happens through a kind of osmosis, often through stories and shared phrases drawn from a common imagination. Our formation happens constantly. The work of establishing our intuitions is subtle. Being mimetic people, we start desiring what others desire, fearing what others fear, placing hope where others place hope.

And so, if the moral imagination reveals the fears and desires driving our choices, let’s take a look at the things pro-life Christians say, getting curious about how they sound next to the default sensibilities of a secular imagination. Additionally, imagine if you will, you are the unmarried, pregnant woman carrying an unplanned-for child. You are listening to what those supporting a pro-life vision have to say in their various conversations throughout the week.

Side note: The list of requirements for a “culture of life” can get very long, and they have their own merit. (Women’s experiences in the medical system! Support networks! Doulas! Meal trains! Mother-friendly work! Disability advocacy! Childcare! Paid leave! Supporting homemakers! Maybe even immigration and the death penalty!) But I focus this corner of the internet on how we Christians have been, and can be, formed to think about connections between the body, sexuality, and procreation. So that is where the focus will be.

Here were my criteria, the reasoning for including what I did. Each bullet should in some way:

• Reveal an ironic flavor in our common phrases, when contrasted with secular sentiments and abortion culture.

• Reveal a double standard between the costly culture of life we espouse for others, and our own revealed attitudes and choices.

• All should be read through the lens of the unexpectedly pregnant woman (perhaps even a regular in the pews) in some sort of crisis and great need. This woman is being helped by a community of Christians who say and do such things: