FIVE JOKES: 8/14/26

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Hey! I’m Tim Barnes, it’s Friday in America, Luigi Mangione has pleaded guilty, and here are FIVE JOKES!

• Benjamin Netanyahu described the UK as the ‘first Islamic republic to get a nuclear weapon.’ Damn, this next Mr. Bean movie is gonna be nuts.

• Disney+ is not proceeding with its live-action Power Rangers series. Bright side: Disney won’t have the chance to bow down to Trump administraton pressure to rename them the DEI Warriors.

• Weird: A writer for The Verge pitted five robot lawnmowers against each other to find the best cutter. Weirder: She unfortunately did so before realizing he shrunk the kids.

  

• During an appearance on The Joe Rogan Experience, Shane Gillis admitted he is off the Trump bandwagon, revealing that he intentionally declined an invitation to the VIP room at UFC 250 at the White House earlier this summer because he wanted to avoid being photographed with Donald Trump. Yeah. Because there’s a big difference between a photo with a president in the VIP room and a photo of you cheering on bloodied UFC fighters on his White House lawn.

Finally…

• Earlier this week, social media was filled with claims about a supposedly leaked NASA project called 'Project Anchor,' which alleged that Earth would briefly lose its gravity on August 12. This, of course, never took place, so… thoughts and prayers to John Mayer.

  

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• The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has upgraded an egg recall issued last month to “Class I,” its highest risk level, as it warns the public that consuming the products could cause “serious adverse health consequences or death.”

• Anne Hathaway calls for movies with dog deaths to be rated R.

• Rob Bonta and David Ellison are dividing the unions, whose members have diverging interests on the way the antitrust battle against a merged Paramount and Warner Bros. is waged.

• A California-based space technology company's plan to test a satellite carrying a giant reflective mirror has prompted warnings from experts who fear the technology could worsen light pollution, disrupt ecosystems, and interfere with scientific research.

• Check out a first-look preview for the new live-action, quarter-hour series The Terrors of Jordan Mendoza:

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