Goodbye to the Queen

Crone.

She arrived.

Quietly.

It took me a moment to recognize her
in myself.

She didn't bring any claims with her.

Just a quiet knowing, an appreciation.

It dawned on me that, little by little,
I had been laying down my crown.

Not in resignation.

Not in weariness.

Simply because I no longer needed to wear it all the time.

She has simply stepped aside,
making room for another way of being.

I think something quietly happened.

The Queen has not disappeared.

She has simply laid down her crown.

Not because she lost it.
Because she no longer needs it.

I realized that the kingdom is in good hands.

It doesn't mean that I have walked away from life.

But towards a deeper life.

This is not a righteous passage
but as a gentle nod to the knowledge

that I am remembering within myself.

Just remembering.

The Crone is often misunderstood in our culture.

She is imagined as someone who has all the answers.

I believe the Crone is not the woman who has stopped wondering.

She is the woman who has become intimate with wonder.

She no longer needs certainty.

She trusts mystery.

She has learned that being wrong is not a failure.

It is simply another way that life reveals itself.

She no longer rushes to defend herself.

Or explain herself.

Or perfect herself.

She can simply pause.

Listen.

Smile.

And begin again.

Her peace is no longer dependent upon always being right.

I find that I am constantly asking
"What is revealing itself?"

There is no need to remove myself from
society and step into that lone cottage in the forest,
grow vegetables, and brew tea.

I can create that right here in the city.

I can go to my beloved yoga and kickboxing classes.

I can create the art that sings to my soul and prompts
me to twirl with delight.

I know how strong I am,

and that gives my gentle side
the space to step forward.

Yes, my life has had hardships
but I am not a woman who has become hard.

I became a woman whose strength has become so trustworthy...
that gentleness no longer needs to hide.

I am listening to myself.

I invite you to come walk with me.