I was offered freedom from artistic compromise — and turned it down.

Last night, I had a dream someone offered to fund a remake of my 2016 film Nuts! with total creative freedom and whatever budget I need.

This Dream Funder said, “I know there are things about Nuts! that didn’t come out exactly how you wanted because you simply didn’t have any more time or money. I’ll give you whatever you need to do it all over again, you can remake the movie exactly how you want, without the budget constraints you were working under.”

It was tempting! (My dreams, as per usual, are extremely literal. Also, we were in a mall, because I am Gen X and every dream forever will be in a mall.)

But a funny thing happened: Dream Penny said NO THANK YOU!
She even delivered an impassioned little speech to explain why.

It was a pretty great speech, if I do say so myself.
Pretty sure I even slipped in a couple references to Henri Rousseau...

Also: I’m no expert-level Jungian, but the dream itself was very interesting, no?
I was offered freedom from artistic compromise, and I refused it.
Why?

I recently read Roger Corman’s autobiography How I Made A Hundred Movies in Hollywood and Never Lost a Dime. Corman was the patron saint of cheapo movies: a legendary producer-director who churned out hundreds of horror, sci-fi and exploitation pictures at breakneck speed, on laughably microscopic budgets, with an almost supernatural ability to make a buck — plus the occasional entrant at Cannes. On the final page of his book, he spells out how he’s always had two warring aspects of his character: “the elitist-artist and the hustler-maverick destined to defeat him.”

Oh, how this resonates for me! I am, after all, trying to make art while also trying to make a living making art, and occasionally terrified that the second goal might fuck up the first (lol).