I explained it was due to the rising transphobia in America. Like a vampire sucking the blood out of my body. Weakening me. Distracting me. Killing me. Which makes it hard to learn and work. I could not do bioinformatics on mitochondrial DNA sequencing in 2024 like I could in 2022. Stanford couldn’t find a replacement since my skillset was so “niche” so they kept trying to get me to continue the work. That was the first time I questioned the relatively low pay rate I was given. It’s 2026 and I’m still getting emails about the project I worked on with Stanford because they’re trying to publish a paper. I resist the urge to reply-all with rage.
Before 2020’s Black Lives Matter critically changed my understanding of America. Before COVID-19 upended the indoctrinated faith and hope I had in the government and wealthy. Before my wife came out as transgender at the end of 2021. Before I then realized that out of LGBTQ+ I was Q, B and T. Before I connected that I was neurodivergent and the disabilities that meant I have.
With the unending support of my wife, in my 30’s with an aging BA in History, I started taking Peralta City College courses in calculus, chemistry, and biology. Years of classes, internships, studying. Until in 2020 I hit my lottery with a full scholarship to SFSU’s graduate program in Cell and Molecular Biology. That story in itself felt like movie magic.
My unknown neurodivergent disabilities started to derail me first when the pandemic hit. My whole system I had set up for studying and working immediately vanished. I was unaware I had set up a system to accommodate my disabilities. But now I couldn’t access shared working spaces nor spend all day at campus and the library, away from distraction. Time stopped working correctly. So did my brain. At home, in our small studio, I couldn’t tap into the level of concentration needed to deeply learn complex topics like biochemistry. It was a war of attrition finishing my program. A professor begged me to just apply to a PhD program. I told her, crying, I physically couldn’t. The thought of starting an even more rigorous program paralyzed me.
After graduating in 2022, I tried to have some piece of my dream. I also started getting involved in activism. I thought I could do both. I was wrong. America didn’t allow that for me. Local centimillionaires and billionaires and their fascist foot soldiers didn’t allow that.
Multiple times I’ve unexpectedly started started writing this story out, like this morning. I figure I need to post it to move on.
So you hear at least one of millions of stories out there about how trans people are being severely, negatively impacted by America’s transphobia, fueled by billionaires to divide and distract us.
I don’t have career goals anymore. I’m mentally just trying to survive. Fighting back is necessary for my survival. I’m trying to keep my wife alive. We’re trying to keep each other functioning. People say we’re intelligent, very intelligent. We’ve been able to leverage our intelligence for success despite being neurodivergent, anti-social loners. But there’s no strategy intelligence can deploy to outmaneuver or shield us from these federal and local assaults on our humanity.
It’s not just the transphobia, but it’s a huge part. I know so many people are in way worse circumstances, up against way more than myself. This is just my story I’m sharing in my space to spotlight the transphobia.
Trans March, Friday, June 26 to now. Do you know what shit show this past week has been for trans people? Beyond shit show. Full on San Francisco Fascist ASSAULT on Trans People SHIT SHOW!
My poor wife has become ill and has to miss Trans March. It quickly became a sacred day for us. A day where we hang out in Dolores park surrounded by so many other trans people, freedom of expression, joy and entertainment. Where we fit in. Where we aren’t targeted by creepy men. Where we don’t meet nasty stares from women. Where we are free and encouraged to be happy. And so we are.
I still go by myself to Dolores park for a couple hours to soak this in, taking photos and videos to share with my wife. I catch up with a couple friends who have been fighting hard against the mayor’s budget. We are celebrating the massive wins The People’s Budget, led by TLGBQIA+ folks, are able to accomplish, though the fight continues. But today we celebrate.
Usually my wife and I walk together during the march, but since she’s not here, I join the Brick March contingency. It’s a joyous reunion with comrades who I’ll forever hold in my heart. We hug, we joke, we hoist up bricks in honor of our transcestors and in defiance of fascism, we chant.
When the march reaches my home on Market St, I peel away, take a couple more photos for my wife, and head inside.
If I had continued with the march I would have been caught in SFPD’s outsized, violent assault on trans people, specifically targeting (according to news) alleged benign camera painters. (I’d like to point out that windows weren’t being broken. Fires weren’t being set. People weren’t being targeted at all. No one was being hurt. This really is just alleged paint we’re talking about.) There are videos on social media of: what appears to be close to 100 SFPD officers brandishing batons; physical attacks of trans people; SFPD dog-piling on individuals; and approximately 6 identical officers swarmed on 1 trans person, jogging their incapacitated body away from the march.
I was immediately reminded of ICE’s violent assaults on us community protectors last summer. Memories of me screaming at ICE agents body-crushing comrades on Jackson St, illegally arresting American citizens, physically assaulting my friends and comrades. I was triggered. I felt fear again. The anti-trans escalation is happening. Friday was just the start. More came Saturday in Stud Alley. More came Sunday to trans vendors at a Pride event. More came in parallel by our State Senator Scott Wiener who was heckled out of the Trans March for his complicity in the Gaza genocide, for his active role in suppressing and criminalizing pro-Palestine and anti-genocide activism here, and for his long history of being pro-big real estate, pro-police, racist anti-vending, and general war against the poor policies. He weaponized trans people creating a safe space by ejecting his (cis) ass and started a fundraising campaign to collect on people’s transphobic fears of “violent” trans people. I even got a text from his campaign talking about this and asking for money:
You may have seen the viral videos of antisemitic attacks targeting Scott Wiener at Pride this weekend.
[…]
Tonight is the most important deadline his campaign has faced. These attacks could not come at a worse time. Help show Scott has the grassroots support to win: [link to donate]
I replied STOP to opt out.
Antisemitism is a real problem, but this isn’t it. (Lemme drop this here for those who wanna understand why: Debunking the myth that anti-Zionism is antisemitic." I have more radical beliefs than the author but I do think their debunking is sound.)
The painters were charged with felony vandalism on the same day the Golden Gate 26 were convicted of their misdemeanor charges, though thankfully the jury was hung on their felony charges for peacefully protesting genocide. Still, sentencing awaits them.
At the Bryant courthouse where trans people were being charged with felonies, trans people and allies show up to support them. However another assault happened when transphobic videographer, and long-term harasser of mine, “JJ Smith” showed up. He hurled slurs and spit at trans people. An account of this is shared by Jersey Noah on his IG. Another videographer with him did the same. Manhattan Institute and Voice of SF contributor Erica Sandberg also made an unwelcome appearance.
I know “JJ” has been posting those videos online, stoking hate against them the same way he did to me for years.
He also showed up at another trans event at Turk & Taylor, took a video, and posted it with the caption “Terrorist.” JJ has a public relationship with Garry Tan, even celebrating Tan’s birthday with him.
I am still recovering from being sick myself. This post is messier than I’d like. But I know I have to get this out now or it will never happen. Too much is happening to delay recording. Events rack up too quickly.
Once again, Pride is a riot Eddy Kim does a great job going over the SFPD assault on the Trans March and during Pride
Politicians know they’ll get booed at Trans March; harassment from cops is real issue A Trans March organizer responds to Scott Wiener’s ejection
S.F. police arrest 20 at 300-person SoMa block party during Pride “It marked the second round of arrests of Pride attendees this weekend after police arrested five people at the tail end of the Trans March on Friday.”
Supervisor Fielder seeks answers about police response on Pride weekend “The letter asks more than 20 questions including whether the police department tried any de-escalation strategies before making arrests, why officers were deployed in full tactical gear, and how much money the city spent responding to the incidents.”
Judge Declines to Reduce Felony Charges against Trans March Protesters, Citing Need for More Evidence Someone told me a cop told them SFPD waited until a certain number of cameras were painted so they could press felony charges. Cannot verify if true.
Gay Jewish lawmaker & congressional candidate chased out of Trans March over position on Gaza by LGBTQ Nation. See the best version of a typical article on this matter
Pro-Palestine protesters who blocked Golden Gate Bridge convicted of misdemeanor charges “San Francisco jury fails to reach verdict on more serious felony conspiracy charge over April 2024 demonstration”
and a really nice solidarity statement from the Jewish Anti-Zionist Network on their IG
Comments
Nothing yet. Say the first thing.
Sign in to join the conversation.