Coffee Talk: Group Tours and Ghost Signs - A Walk Across London With Jonnie of Bowl of Chalk

Let’s go for a coffee walk together through the back streets of London.

Q. Hi, Jonnie! Thank you for joining us for this special walking Coffee Talk edition. Let’s start in the beginning. How did you fall into giving walking tours of London and what is behind the name Bowl of Chalk?

I have been running Bowl of Chalk for about 15 years. I’ve had many lives, but directly before becoming a tour guide, was a copywriter for advertising/marketing and it was suggested I leave due to a lack of interest and enthusiasm. I applied to become a tour guide for a company in London, as something to do that didn’t involve sitting in an office, and loved it. I had to learn everything myself and really enjoyed exploring a city I’d been living in for 10 years and knew nothing about. I started my own business after about a year and a half when the company folded.

In London there is a vernacular language called Cockney Rhyming slang, the origins of which are a bit murky, but none-the-less is now part of the English language spoken over here. As the name suggests, the words rhyme, like ‘loaf of bread = head’ …so ‘use your loaf’ means to think, or to use your head. ‘Barnet Fair = hair’ so if you say “Nice barnet” to someone you’re complimenting them on a nice haircut. There are three variations for ‘walk’ which are Ball of chalk (the main one), Penneforth of Chalk (no idea what that is) and Bowl of Chalk which is a more recent take. I preferred the latter, and chose it as the name of my walking tour business …so now regularly have Cockneys (proper Londoners) telling me it should be Ball of Chalk.

Q. I’ve watched you start our tour with introductions and was so impressed with your ability to remember everyone’s names in the first ten minutes. What are some of the things you notice about a tour group right away and how do you adjust your tour based on the group vibe? Who’s the most famous or interesting guest you’ve ever hosted on one of your tours?

I guess I notice whether people might have impairments or disabilities, whether it’s walking or hearing or whether there’s a kid in a buggy or someone in a wheelchair which will affect the route. I will also ascertain who is speaking/listening in a second language and therefore that I might need to rein in my hilarious jokes and asides and cultural references (that was a joke) and speak a bit more clearly and slowly for certain people.

The vibe is an interesting one. I’m quite vibey I guess. Heavy rain will obviously put a dampener on things, the umbrellas go up, the sound of traffic gets louder. It’s not much fun. I respond a lot to questions and chats with the group as I do tend to go off on tangents and enjoy it more than doing a set/structured thing.

There’s been so many interesting walkers over the years; people with fascinating jobs, people who are inspiring, people who have overcome adversity ..and I get a lot of Londoners, so it’s always nice to get their own perspective on the city. I’ve had a few what you could call ‘famous’ people on walks, but I have quite a few celeb followers who watch the videos I post on Instagram (@bowlofchalk). I got a lovely message from James Corden the other year, introducing himself and letting me know how much he enjoys the vids, saying they’d made him fall in love with London after returning to London with his family. He also very kindly gave a quote for my book (Why is Downing Street Painted Black? And 364 other fun London facts) that came out last year.

Q. What’s the strangest thing that’s ever happened mid-tour? London must occasionally refuse to cooperate.

It’s not necessarily London, but the people themselves on tours. On one group tour years ago, a couple had a big argument in the middle of it and tried to get me to take sides, before one of them stormed off. It was a bit awkward. On another occasion an octogenarian lost control of his bowels when the doors of the underground carriage we were trying to get on, closed on him. I was once doing a tour of the Houses of Parliament with two 80 year olds in mobility scooters they didn’t normally use. They were unable to control them and were hitting sculptures and wood panelling inside the Royal Palace. They were apprehended by armed police and I had to keep a close eye on them for the remainder …away from anything breakable.

Sometimes it’s random people who have nothing to do with the walk. Once, mid tour, a guy on a skateboard wearing a baby-sling skated up, punched me in the face and threatened to kill me on the side of the street. On a private walk once, some random bloke started kicking kids who were with the family I was showing around, then when I intervened, he tried to throw me under a bus on Piccadilly. For anyone reading this and contemplating doing a tour with me …these are very rare occurrences indeed.

Q. My readers love hearing about heritage brands and unique finds when they travel. Where would you send someone who’s already done the Tower, the Abbey, and the V&A and wants to see parts of London not readily advertised on Instagram?

Funnily enough, I visited Dennis Severs house yesterday. It’s not everyone’s cup of tea, but is basically an 18^th century time capsule in Spitalfields (east London), created by an American, Dennis Severs 40 years ago. There’s no filming or photography inside, so you won’t find too much on social media about it. Fascinating character and fascinating building.

We have a number of small house museums that you can visit, such as Benjamin Franklin House (the only surviving Franklin house in the world), Handel & Hendrix in London; two 18^th century townhouses in Mayfair, where the two musicians were neighbours, albeit 200 years apart, Charles Dickens’ House or Dr Johnson’s House, where the first definitive English dictionary was compiled in 1755. There are also places like the Foundling Museum which tell a very particular story from London’s history, or the Wellcome Collection which always has fascinating exhibitions.

People could try some different neighbourhoods. Hampstead is great, some lovely museums and houses, amazing architecture, great pubs and 800 acres of heath.

Q. What is the one story that you love to tell about London’s past? What about a London “fact” that everyone gets wrong?

I do a Great Fire tour. It’s the only themed tour I do. I spent 5 years writing a novel set in the days leading up to and during the fire of 1666 which very few people have read. Learning about history later in life, it quickly became obvious that history repeats. There are so many similarities between what was happening at the time of the Great Fire in 17^th century London, attitudes to immigrants, xenophobia, needing someone to blame etc …to what is going on today. It’s actually quite depressing.

There are lots of London legends or myths that people often get wrong, like the fact that Blackheath is called Blackheath because bodies from the Black Death in the 14^th century were buried there, even though it already had the name and no bodies have ever been found there. Obviously in talking about London (or any place for that matter) it’s important to know what you’re talking about, the context, history etc. People like to tell me something that they’ve heard and at the end say “you can have that one for free”, such as, and someone said this to me …”there’s a nose on Admiralty Arch, I don’t know why it’s there or who put it there, but apparently the guards rub it when they pass. You can have that one for free.”Rapid Fire Round

This is a coffee talk after all - what’s the best coffee spot in London?

Can I suggest two? Morocco Bound in Bermondsey, which is a bookshop/café and do poetry readings and wot not or Candid Café in Angel, which I haven’t been to in years, but it’s a wonderful space, tucked away on a side street, at the top of a few flights of stairs. The one London building you’d save in a fire?

Well, my own house would surely be up there, but despite not being religious, I love the fact that we still have St Paul’s cathedral, which was already saved in a massive fire, The Blitz in 1940. I will never get tired of seeing it, but very much doubt I could save it on my own if required. During WW2 they had 300 people helping to put fires out. Your favorite London ghost?

I don’t do ghost tours, but one wintery evening years ago, I was walking back to my bike through the little alleyways in the City of London, and very much had the feeling I was being followed. I kept stopping to take photos with my little digital camera, as it was all dark, and gas lamps were twinkling. I stopped in the alley looking back up at Simpsons, a ‘chophouse’ which has been there since 1775 (although has been going through a rough time post covid) and was taking a picture. In the screen on my camera, it looked like a figure (bathed in light) was standing in the alleyway ahead of me, but in ‘real life’ there was nothing there. It was quite spine tingly stuff. When I got home and looked at the pics, all the photos before and after were clear, but in that photo, it does look like there is something or someone standing there …so they’d have to be my favourite and only ghost.

I do like ‘ghost signs’ if that counts, old signs that once advertised bread, pianos, an old shop that has long gone, but a very faded remnant still exists today; a ghost sign. New tour that you haven’t advertised yet but is in the works?

I’ve just added a new Bermondsey tour to my repertoire (I do x12 weekend group walks). I think my next addition might be Bloomsbury. Lots of history, fascinating characters, stories and architecture.

One London fact that a guest on your tour taught you?

Not so much facts, but what I call ‘traces’ which are personal histories which you won’t find in any history book, and might get mentioned by me on occasion on a tour. It’s a place in London that has a particular significance to someone. I had one the other week. After walking through a former cemetery, a woman told me it was the place that she and a former partner split up. Another was a bench in the church yard of St Paul’s cathedral where a guy on a walk had proposed to his now wife, some 40 odd years earlier, or where people had first dates. That kind of thing.

Huge thanks to Jonnie for taking us on this walking edition of Coffee Talk!

If you want to experience it for yourself, Jonnie runs twelve different weekend group walks through Bowl of Chalk, plus private tours during the week. Book online and follow him on Instagram and TikTok @bowlofchalk for his fun London fact videos, the ones that made James Corden fall back in love with the city.

And do pick up his book, Why Is Downing Street Painted Black? and 364 Other Fun London Facts. It’s the perfect companion for your next wander through London!

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