The Invitation

Hello fellow learn-it-all 👋

Greetings from Middelburg. There’s been such a heat wave going on in the Netherlands. I traveled by train to the south on Friday for my first auntie visit, and it was near 100 degrees Fahrenheit. So like a sauna on the train. It’s been hard to breathe for me lately. Congestion fills my chest, and so, alas, I have been resting today. It feels illegal to be inside on a summer day. I’m still plugging along on this letter to find a bit of joy in my day by creating something, so here I am. And because today is a day that holds some significance.

So without further ado, here’s letter 320. Enjoy!

~~~

Five years ago today, on June 28, 2021, I stepped onto a plane that changed my life.

The destination? Hawaii.

It was a mere plane ticket. A three-month work contract. An accommodation. And a storage unit later. That’s all it took to begin this experiment for a new path. I never felt more terrified and completely alive before, especially while sprinting across LAX to make my connection.

Most everyone in my inner circle thought I was crazy.

On paper, my life looked good. Like really really good. I was making more money with my company than I had in management consulting. I was running the lakefront for a couple of days a week. Some of my swipes on Hinge turned into dates. I was maxing out my Roth IRA investments. My social calendar was full of boxes over the weekends. And I was even living in the beautiful city of Chicago, with affordable rent, with two roommates, near Oz park.

And yet, I still wasn’t satisfied.

My integrity was broken because my thoughts, my words, and my actions didn’t align.

But let me rewind.

I began 2021 feeling such a zest for life, believing anything was possible.

I felt like this year would redeem itself and turn around with this new fella by my side. We couldn’t stop exchanging stories. He was interesting in the way that made me lean forward, and the pit of questions never stopped. And somewhere in all those conversations, I realized, I was infatuated with the courageous and adventurous life he was living.

But then he dumped me via text with the kindest words, which made it even worse.

I remember walking the lakefront, letting tears freeze on my cheeks as I kept rereading these little letters lit up on my screen. The tips of my ears went numb. I didn’t mind that I could stop feeling. It felt better than mourning my imagined adventures we’d never experience. But underneath was something quieter and more honest: I wanted to actually live with adventure too.

A month later, I would turn 25. And in the meantime, I acted on one of my intentions: to pursue my first therapist. She helped me realize what I was so attracted to about this guy. She asked me what I valued in life. Adventure, I told her. Without hesitation.

Then she asked how that was showing up in my life right now.

I had no recent examples.

COVID had taken a lot. I knew that. But staring at my therapist over the Zoom room, I also knew that on my deathbed, that reason would leave me sour with regret. I was wearing an old skin that had belonged to society and someone else’s idea of a good life rather than my own that I wanted to create.

So on my 25th birthday in February, I made myself a promise: I would not sign another lease in the Midwest.

In April, I drew out a mind map of possibilities.

Then in June, I moved to Hawaii.

That one decision cracked everything open. Chicken skin rises when I zoom out and admire my past self with such gratitide. Her playfulness. Her patience to build community. Her honesty with herself. All the ecstatic highs from surfing at night to dancing in caves and the loneliness and the getting it wrong with near-death experiences. All of this enabled me to be exactly where I am today.

Test out an experiment and live in closer alignment with what you actually care about. Inspire future you of what’s possible. ♡

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The Water Poem by Ram Dass and AWARÉ

I came alive creatively moving as water would flow to this song at a dance night last weekend.

The first letter I wrote after arriving in Hawaii in 2021:

The last letter I wrote after leaving Hawaii in 2024:

— Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, (1749–1832) German writer, poet, playwright, and scientist

This quote emphasizes that good intentions is merely a starting point. According to Wolfgang von Goethe’s philosophy, it is only through decisive action and execution that understanding and willingness translate into real-world results.

(Note: While often attributed to Goethe in modern popular culture, this specific quote is actually a famous distillation of a principle originally written by martial artist and actor Bruce Lee)

• For those new friends I met at the To Gather festival in Germany last weekend, who have made me the happiest I’ve felt all year. More reflections to come on that experience still

I am grateful you chose to fill part of your day here.

If something in this letter resonated, press the ❤️ , leave a comment, reply to this email, or reach me at vermetJL@gmail.com. I love hearing from you.

Keep on learning 😁

Tot snel 🌺 🌺

Toodles :)

Jen

P.S. #1 - I wrote a book. Letters to My Life is my favorite way to share my writing with you (and it keeps your screen-time stats down). Grab your copy here.

P.S. #2 - Here’s what you missed. Last week I wrote about self-evolution and not knowing future me