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I’m exhausted by all the things we are somehow expected to be good at.
Like optimisation is a sport that exempts us from failure - or change.
If only we follow the 1000-step process we will feel amazing. We will do great.
Yet somehow, that is not reality. For anyone.
And instead of being better for following the rules, we only feel more lost and frustrated.
Tense with excuses of all the tips we’ve neglected.
I think optimisation has less to do with supplements and sleep schedules.
And more to do with the curiosity we are able to apply to our experience of life.
There is a power in looking at each sensation with inquiry. Not rigidity. To meet situations with a little bit of kind, playfulness, without the harshness of performance. It makes us willing to try. To learn to trust the signals of our body - as well as our world. And to pivot our choices as life evolves. And we with it.
When we stop outsourcing our judgement and our decisions nakedly to external advice and data-points, we tend to find the things that fit us best.
This episode is an invitation to dive into that exactly. To reconsider what it might mean to change and to find the ways that fit us - not through discipline or force, but through noticing what’s actually there, and letting that lead.
I am joined by Frida Rångtell, a sleep researcher and coach behind the Curious Sleep Lab, who brings to sleep the same sensibility she brings to life: curiosity, playfulness, and a willingness to test what’s actually true rather than follow what’s supposed to be.
From Love is blind watch-parties and writers’ gatherings, curiosity takes us into sleep. Not the optimized, data-tracked, rule-heavy version, but sleep as something with its own paradoxes, signals, and strangeness.
We move through what good sleep actually means and why one number rarely tells the whole story; through the in-between state of falling asleep that no one can quite catch; and the mysterious things that we experience at night (that are stranger and more common than we tend to admit). We talk about what our dreams seem to be made of, and why we so often sleep better next to someone even when the objective data disagrees.
And through all of it, Frida keeps returning to the same notion. Not “what should I be doing to sleep better”, but “how we can learn to trust our senses and listen to the signals that our body offers” - both during the day and at night.
A warm, wide-ranging conversation about sleep, rest, presence, and the surprising usefulness of not knowing the answer yet.
Frida Rångtell, PhD, is a sleep scientist and founder of Curious Sleep Lab - a space to explore sleep with openness and curiosity, without judgement or strict rules. She works with individuals through coaching, organizations, sports clubs, and schools. Her goal is to help others create better relationships with their sleep and to find the magic of the night.
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/frida-rangtell-phd/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/slumraofsweden/
Website: www.slumra.nu
Curiosity as a compass
Playful living
Lazy hosting and bringing people together
A curious relationship to sleep
The paradox of sleep - control vs. non-judgement
What is good sleep?
The signals of sleep
Bedtime rituals to transition into sleep
The in-between sleep state
Sleep mysteries
Strange things that are normal
Sleep as an experience
Sleeping together - the impact of social connection
Listening to our body
Small steps that stick
The value of experiments and observation
Build habits first
Thank you for listening to Learning from Trees!
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