You’re Not Listening!

Rise and Stride is a weekly newsletter for high-achieving women, focused on personal growth as leadership development, and exploring the inner balance that succeeds. The future of leadership success is already here.

How It Began. At four, I sang “It Came Upon a Midnight Clear” for a family gathering. Solemnly, I warbled: the world in Sol-o-mon stillness lay….

The authentic self is the soul made visible. ~Sarah Ban Breathnach, U.S. author

At fourteen, I sang “Leavin’ on a Jet Plane” for a talent show, wallowing in every weepy word: I’m so lonesome I could cry. There’s so many times I’ve let you down.

At 26, I sat before a Friday night microphone, singing folk music to the local drunks.

In my thirties, I sang “Puff the Magic Dragon” to preschoolers. And as a wedding soloist during my friends’ and family’s marrying years, I covered everything from “Evergreen” to “Amazing Grace.”

How It’s Going. Now, I mostly sing at Karaoke … And I’m good!

No, seriously. I am Makes-strong-men-weep good.

Dr. Scott, why do I care about your life of singing??

There’s a point. I promise.

Hang with me for a second.

Why am I singing about my singing? Because in organizational leadership, relationships are a form of wealth that yields success. And the most fruitful connections, relationships of high value for all, require authenticity.

And, finally, the point: a leader is only authentic when she sings with her full voice.

I sing because I’m happy. I sing because I’m free. ~Civilla D. Martin, Canadian-American writer of hymns and gospel songs

Without song, I am not me. I am also inauthentic when I withhold my intelligence, feral anger, empathy, quirky sense of humor…

Facing organizational structures and SOPs, your leadership development question is NOT How do I meet all these expectations? but How do I be ME, inside these expectations?

So, as an addendum to “How It’s Going” with Karaoke, I unashamedly admit I can burst into song in almost any professional setting, with impromptu parody lyrics appropriate to the moment.

It’s just who I am. I’m smart, fun, strategic, playful, AND a singer.

Can you hear your inner choir?

Find harmony in your relationship with yourself. Tap your authentic nature—playful or contemplative or goofy or goth—much more often. Such honesty is a gift to others AND to you.

Authenticity is a Big Sound, created by an orchestra of skills, knowledge, dispositions, stored trauma, and current life. A successful leader chooses with care: both the instrument and the notes played.

And make no mistake: those choices define you and your leadership. Which aspect of your authentic self will you express? To which of your values will you be true?

Authentically what?

The price of wisdom is innocence. So, I have definitely become wiser but sadly a little less innocent. ~Mahira Khan, Pakistani actor

Many high-achieving women have survived lives that cultivated fearful, anxious, and suspicious dispositions. For me, professional relationships in my “greenhorn” years were fraught with stress, worry, frantic rehearsals for upcoming conversations, and endless post-game analysis of awkward exchanges.

Gradually, I cultivated other orientations to life: curiosity, creativity, and empathy. But the greatest of these dispositions for success is integrity: authentic living.

Highly recommended. Five stars. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐