Tiny steps?

and looking back at the journey

We sold 100 tickets to the Gathering of Neuroqueering Love. (It’s tomorrow: this’ll be your last chance to get tickets. Tickets still free)

Deliquescent Beings exists in bookshops, and has been held in people’s hands.

These things feel simultaneously unbelievable and inevitable.

Unbelievable, because the Book and the Gathering are realisations of dreams that only began to resolve into recognisable form just under 3 years ago; and because who I am today is so vastly different from that version of self that started to allow themself to dream.

Inevitable, because I have taken so many tiny steps towards the reality where these things exist that the book and gathering entering material reality feels like just another couple of tiny steps.

But then I look back and measure some of those “tiny” steps. I recall the affective intensity of asking people to write for the book and to share work in the gathering; the fear of refusal and rejection; the delight when all those artists whose work I love said yes, and when I first imbibed the images, texts, sounds, videos and words that they shared.

I remember the difficulty of contacting people for advice and guidance, and of telling people I was making a book and holding an event.

The complexity of working with nearly 20 people at once: keeping track of emails, invoices, milestones and due dates, lead times, distribution terms, meetings, rehearsals, and so on. So many new skills to learn, both technical and emotional, each with their own learning curve

I recall the resolve and courage I needed to jump outside of my comfort zone again and again and again: taking leaps of faith first only with belief and hope, then later with a growing confidence based on evidence garnered.

Getting here, there was so much uncertainty. So much discomfort. So much anxiety. Excitement too; pleasurable moments, achievements, connections made and strengthened. Summarising down, I felt a lot to get here.

And now I’m going to enjoy these particular tiny steps, momentous as they might sometimes seem when I glance at them from a particular angle.

The Gathering is going to be an unusual and exciting event the likes of which I’ve never attended myself.

The book is a beautiful object, and everyone who has seen it loves it.

In both forms, artists that I love are sharing work that I love. Broadcasting love into the world. And love begets love. I truly believe that. I think that might be the belief that began it all. And it’s a belief that will inform all of my work in the future too.

Come along to the Gathering of Neuroqueering Love tomorrow (Friday 1st November) if you want to celebrate love with me and some amazing artists: সঙ্ঘমিত্রা sanghamitra, Hannah Mae Buckingham, Georgia Holman, Saint-Saëns, Florin Garzotto, Rrangwane, Oscar Vinter, and Quieting.

Tickets

It’s at 6pm UK time (UTC+0). Tune in from 1750. The book is available to buy from neuroqueering.network/shop, as well as stockists listed in the same place.

Love you

Laurie