Join me for Second Sunday tomorrow

Hi all.

Earlier this week, I published a piece about how I’m feeling lately, and your responses have brought me such comfort, truly. I’m still reading through them, each one a hand on my back, a little bulb of insight, a voice of solidarity and kindness in a shaky time—and I love that it’s all there for you to see, too, to provide the same for whoever needs it.

There are two comments that are staying with me in particular:

This, from Shana:

Quit kicking the dolphins…you’re probably wondering what the hell this means …Yesterday another sober friend told me for her 60th birthday she took herself to swim with dolphins, a dream she’d always had. When it was time to get a pic with the dolphins they wouldn’t come near her, she was heartbroken. Finally the guide told her to quit kicking her feet underwater, she was scaring the dolphins. When she finally calmed her feet, they swam over to her for an incredible picture. Moral of the story, I guess sometimes we need to quit kicking the dolphins and flow…easier said than done I know, but makes so much sense to a sober person. Wishing you flow and dolphins ahead. 🐬

And this, from my long-time sober connection and fellow Enneagram 7, Sondra Primeaux:

I know I deeply appreciate when other 7’s respond to my angst of the month, so I hope this is helpful. Our core drive is safety and security, end scene. When I’m in the opposite flow from what you are describing, when I’m nailing life and my anticipation monster is being fully fed, I am so good. I even have a name for it, “Everything is coming up Sondra!” (in that really obnoxious third-person way). When everything is not coming up Sondra, when it becomes a succession of shit sandwiches, I eventually run out of reframes. I always think of the cartoon meme of the dog sitting in a room clearly on fire and is all, “It’s fine. This is fine,” but for a 7 to be so frustrated and finally admit it is not fine, we fall. We fall far and hard.

I like to think I’m so much wilder and more brave than to be driven primarily by the need for safety and security, but she’s right. She’s so right it makes me laugh (and cry). Just because my methods for seeking safety sometimes look wild and bold, like drinking and flinging myself into new situations and people all the time, starting companies and writing books, taking on bigger and new challenges without much conscious fear, the driver is first-chakra stuff all the way. Foundation, stability, safety. Without it I’m rocked to the core.

Which leads me to tomorrow’s Second Sunday gathering, 11 am ET. I chose the topic of Spiritual Practice because it’s something I’m focusing on now, and as a special treat for me and all of you, I’ve invited my dear friend Elena Brower to join us.

Elena is one of the most grounded people I know—a constant source of kindness, humor, honesty and wisdom in my life—and one of the first I reach out to when the shit really hits the fan. She’s also a dedicated, hardworking student of spiritual practice, day in and day out—she really walks the walk. Read her latest piece, are you real?, for the basis of our conversation tomorrow.

Second Sundays is my monthly community gathering for paid subscribers. I choose a topic, we begin with a meditation and breathing, I discuss the topic for a bit, and then open it up to conversation. For the last couple of months, I’ve recorded them for later viewing—watch or listen to past sessions here.

To join us tomorrow, become a paid subscriber.

» Also: I’m leading my 40-day writing and meditation course, The Practice, this fall. If you’re feeling stuck in your creativity or your life, need guidance on building a foundational practice, or simply need a powerful reset, this is the place. I’m teaching it because I need it, and would love to do it together. We kick off September 8. Learn more & join the waitlist.

You are reading Love Story, a weekly newsletter about relationships, recovery, and writing from Laura McKowen. Laura is the founder of The Luckiest Club, an international sobriety support community, co-host of the Dear Vernon sobriety podcast and the bestselling author of two books, We Are The Luckiest and Push Off from Here.

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