When I decided to watch every big horror Franchise Hellraiser was the one I was most excited about watching. I had never seen the original before but it had been on my watch list for so long, I had no idea what the film was about, all I knew about it was that there is a villain called Pinhead.
I first watched this film in the cinema in April when a special screening of it came up, and from there I became obsessed and decided to hunt down the DVDs on Vinted.
From the beginning i’ve had a complicated relationship with the film, I both love it and hate. I’m really bad with body horror, it makes me feel physically sick. I can’t handle it at all, Hellraiser is pure body horror. But I loved the humour of the first film, I loved how kind of silly everything is, I love how messed up Julia and Frank are. Most of all I love Pinhead. I think it’s incredible how he has about 2 mins of screen time, has the best lines of dialogue in the film, he tears someone apart and he leaves, Pinhead is a proper horror icon.
I think the strangest parts of these films are how often they say
“Call me daddy”
Feels so unnecessary every time.
Safe to say after watching the first film I was very excited to see how the series developed.
With all that being said here is my ranking of all of the films from best to last. I thought it would be better to start with the positives for this franchise.
* Spoiler alert I hated most of them
Hellraiser (1987)
I’m actually quite torn about whether to put the original at no.1 or no.2, part of me thinks the 2nd film should be first but I do think the first one is technically the best. It has the best storyline, it’s funny, it’s horrifying, it’s a classic.
4.5/5
Hellbound: Hellraiser 2 (1988)
I have to say this was a very strong sequel, it has the elements of the first film that we all came to love but we get to explore more of hell. I loved the labyrinth sequence that was incredible, we also got the best Pinhead line of dialogue in this film.
“We have eternity to explore your flesh”
It’s a shame that after this film it all goes downhill. Part of what makes Hellraiser work so well is the original characters, they have such strong personalities, we care about Kirsty and her journey of discovering Hell and everything it holds.
4/5
Hellraiser 3: Hell on Earth (1992)
This is where it really starts to decline in quality we get whole new characters and new storylines. I did like the fact that we got more Pinhead screen time in this film but that is probably the best part about it.
“If you have a quality, be proud of it. Let it define you, whatever it is”
This film managed to keep a lot the hellraiser humour which I love, all in all not the worst film.
3.5/5
Hellraiser: Bloodline (1996)
“A pity the mirror
will not show your true beauty princess”
One thing I do love about the first 4 Hellraiser films is that we find out lore about the Cenobites and the Puzzle box. This film in particular had an interesting concept, the space part was a bit strange considering we’re only on film 4, I loved the new Cenobites but I did miss the original group.
2.5/5
“I am so exquisitely empty”
This is how I felt after watching all of these films.
Hellraiser: Hellworld (2005)
Jumping up to the 8th film in the series and the last one to feature Doug Bradley as Pinhead. I actually really enjoyed this film again I think it had a really interesting concept which was executed pretty well. It’s definitely the best out of the awful sequels. We got see the Cenobites again. I think this was a brilliant storyline which we should have got much earlier.
Hellseeker (2002)
I’m this film we get the return of Kirsty in a tiny role that makes her return feel a little bit pointless and doesn’t do much to save this film. This film was essentially a remake of Inferno but slightly better. This is also where the franchise starts to use CGI rather than practical effects which DOES NOT WORK. Part of what makes Hellraiser so great is the practical effects, they’re so brilliantly done, I don’t know why they would want to change that.
3/5
Hellraiser: Inferno (2000)
This film was where I really started to regret watching every film in every horror franchise, something I thought would be fun was starting to turn into my own personal hell.
I’ve never hated the idea of these films becoming a kind of anthology however it’s hard to like them when they’ve steered in a completely different direction to the originals. The franchise should have ended after the 4th.
2.5/5
Hellraiser: Deader
I don’t even remember a lot about this film at this point they all started to blur. I just know I hated it. It was one of the most boring films I have ever seen.
1/5
Hellraiser (2022)
Our first remake of the original. I really hated the way they changed how you open the puzzle box for some reason that really irritated me. I also really hated how they killed off the best Cenobites Chatterer.
2/5
Hellraiser: Judgement (2018)
I really struggled to pay attention to this one, once you’ve seen one hellraiser sequel you’ve essentially seen them all.
The opening wasn’t too bad, I enjoyed the character of the Auditor, they brought back the level of gore you expect from these films.
At one point a dog gets pulled out of a woman’s womb, that happened.
One big problem I have is that the new Pinheads have the least intimidating voices I have ever heard, Doug Bradley’s voice and delivery of his lines is what makes Pinhead so memorable and iconic so not having that takes a lot of the intensity out of the character.
This one did feel a lot like an early 2000s film which I like, it’s surprising that it was released in 2018.
1.5/5
Hellraiser: Revelations (2011)
This film felt like a scary movie parody of Hellraiser.
This Pinhead failed on so many levels.
A few positives are this one had a lot more elements of the first film, the practical effects were really good far better than the CGI we’ve had in the other sequels.
But unfortunately the acting was awful, the storyline wasn’t great also why was there an incest scene in this, it was so unnecessary and just weird.
-5/5
I ESCAPED HELL!!
By the time I had got about halfway through this series I felt like I had opened my own puzzle box and got lost in a hell that even Pinhead wasn’t apart of. I’m very glad it’s over and I NEVER have to watch these awful sequels again. I will however be rewatching the first two.
Despite hating most of the films I really want to read the book it’s based off and I also really want to read the comics, which I’m extremely happy are being re-released. I’m really jealous of everyone who will get to experience the Hellraiser house at Universals Halloween Horror Nights but glad the film is getting more recognition again.
I will say Hellraiser is now one of my favourite horror films.
Laura x
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