PREFACE—my socials post from today:
Hot take: Madonna’s continued relevance isn’t despite the controversy. It is the controversy.
Every man who writes a thinkpiece about whether she’s “still relevant” or whether she’s achieved sufficient “spiritual maturity” is participating in the oldest game in the book — policing how women take up space, especially as they age.
She doesn’t owe you evolved. She doesn’t owe you graceful. She doesn’t owe you anything.
The fact that she’s still making people this uncomfortable at this stage of her career? That’s the whole thesis.
And on Times Square — she was wearing the colors of the trans flag. You think that was accidental??
Happy Pride. 🏳️⚧️
(First published in Om: Mahakali: To the Goddess anthology, by Nocturnicorn Books.)
Madonna Louise Ciccone has caught more than her fair share of flak, especially in recent years. However, Madge’s power as an icon, sullied though it may be, remains intact as she struts stunningly into her golden years. She’s made a lifelong pastime and an aggressively lucrative career out of flaunting convention, breaking rules, and singing songs, and hasn’t slowed down yet.
I admit to believing that the ways in which she entertained the world are less important than how she has lived her life. Madonna, in being so completely who she is, has made the world a different, more accepting, more egalitarian place.
On a scale of one to ten, Madonna is a 12.
1. When she touched herself.
Madonna made the world think about–and then talk about–masturbation. (Thoughts of her also most assuredly became fodder for the same.) She helped empower a generation of women in claiming their personal sexual touch.
2. When she fucked with gender roles and assumptions–way before it was cool!
In a time when women were not yet as financially liberated as they are today, Madonna modeled self-reliance and turned gendered assumptions on their heads. Yeah, she wore suits, but it went far deeper than her sartorial choices. In a time when women’s roles were much more limited by social convention, a time when women were disallowed numerous kinds of agency and were vastly constrained by convention, Madonna walked like a man in a “man’s world.”
Claiming the ground that many of us—especially those of us who’ve never easily fit into the “woman” box—yearned for (and gifting it to us as well), she walked through fire and made it look like a runway. She talked like a man, fucked like a man, moved through the world like a man—but she did it in genderfucking drag, queering each step. She made room for many of us to see and imagine another way to move through the world, and owned entire arenas where women had previously been forbidden to enter.
Back before “girl boss” was a thing, Madonna made money like a man, ran businesses like a man, and built her entrepreneurial empire like a man. (Yes, we still have a long way to go, but she is unequivocally part of the reason we’ve gotten to where we are.)
3. When she sang about keeping her baby.
…because in Papa Don’t Preach, she was also singing about abortion, adoption, teen pregnancy, and unwed motherhood. (You might call that last part foreshadowing.) Madonna was not afraid to ruffle feathers. And ruffle she did! From women’s groups to the Vatican, everyone had an opinion about whether Madonna was a saint or sinner on this one.
4. When she financed and released Truth or Dare.
Truth or Dare was trash! But it was trash before its time, and trash that mattered. It was “reality TV” before reality TV. But it was also a Dadaist time capsule. Damn, think I better go find and watch it again!
5. When her naked pix came out in Penthouse, and she had no shame. (Bonus: she had pit hair!)
Rather than freaking out when Penthouse let her know they were publishing a set of nudes from her early modeling days, Madonna went all in and let them publish an updated set at the same time.
Bonus: Her early set was a fabulously hairy and unashamed proposition. Being a hairy, gender-confused fifteen-year-old in 1986, the year those pix came out, I truly needed to see those images. Her unapologetic body gave me permission to keep loving mine—its texture, its wildness, its refusal to smooth itself out to fit expectations. I felt utterly vindicated by those pictures, and was empowered to sport my bushy, empowered pits with pride.
6. When she advocated for awareness during the peak of the HIV/AIDS epidemic
She was one of the first visible mainstream celebs to fight for HIV/AIDS awareness as the epidemic ravaged our community. Yes, she talked about it—taking her responsibility as a highly visible celebrity seriously in a way that few do—but she also funded, and still funds, research efforts. And she does so gracefully; she downplays her philanthropic efforts, while still being a champion of a cause that very much still impacts our communities. Though she doesn’t haul her privilege into the limelight, she’s never shy about using it to call others in—from the stage and on social media alike.
7. When she fucked around–and defied definition.
Madonna openly fucked around before women were given the room they have now to move around in the world sexually. (Ground that we, as a culture, are at this moment collectively losing. Help, Madonna!) She had (and has) sex with whom she wanted to, and didn’t always get hung up on definition. She controlled her sexual destiny, and in so doing, she liberated ours.
While many continue to place Madonna in the “ally” category, she has been out as bi for decades. (Can we talk about bi-erasure for a moment? It sucks. Stop de-legitimizing bi+ folx! We are, after all, the largest slice of the LGBTQIA+ pie—which everyone apparently wants a taste of, but no one wants to acknowledge.) Her delightfully messy sexuality never fit into a box–though she has been accused of queer-baiting time and time again.
That kiss in 2003? So what if it was performative? Sometimes change needs to start that way. In the conservative climate of early-2000s America, that kiss–as iconic as it may have been problematic–started a firestorm, and it burned down some bullshit that needed burning.
Madonna transgressed, once again, broke the news cycle, and still contributed to many a queer awakening.
8. When she flirted with everyone!
Madonna said, “I’ll flirt with everyone, from garbagemen to grandmothers.” In so doing, she invited us all to engage in a more playful kind of interaction. Can you imagine if we were all so liberated?
9. When she released the book Sex.
Once again, Madonna hit a home run in the game of pissing people off. From feminist groups to right-wing Christians, everyone was up in arms about what many deemed “hard-core pornography.” As a person involved in hardcore porn at the time, I was not overly impressed with the porn. But as a feminist, I’m impressed to this day.
10. When she didn’t care if people thought she was a bitch.
Madonna is quoted in People as saying, “I’m tough, ambitious, and I know exactly what I want. If that makes me a bitch, okay.” I’ll have what she’s having, please.
11. When she had her own baby.
Madonna was ready to have a baby, so she did. During the exact same time period, I was considering becoming a solo parent myself—queer body, nonbinary lens, and all—so her choice (and the firestorm of criticism and support that followed) felt particularly poignant to me. (Considering the perils of co-parenting, I sometimes still wish I had followed her lead.)
12. When she got burned by love, and still didn’t give up on relationships.
Madonna is strong medicine. She is, according to many past loves, more than a handful. But she still believes in giving herself completely to love. “To be brave is to love someone unconditionally, without expecting anything in return. To just give. That takes courage because we don’t want to fall on our faces or leave ourselves open to hurt,” Madonna is credited with saying. As a strong-willed person often labeled “too much” by lovers and society alike, I see myself in Madonna’s words.
Can’t stop thinking about you, babe!
To sum it all up, while Madonna may be arguably less of a cultural behemoth than she once was, her ability to stir controversy hasn’t died down. People still love to hate her, hate to love her, and all out just love (and hate) this amazing phenom. Some (mostly cis men, to be fair) ridicule her for “clinging to relevance.” To that, I say, so may we all. I, for one, do not plan on willingly surrendering my relevance either. Like Madonna, I plan on remaining flexible, vibrant, and fighting the dying of the light with all I’ve got.
In critique of her surgical choices, some fault the Queen of Pop for giving in to the unwinnable beauty expectations of the patriarchy. Others fault her for fighting to keep doing what she loves past a “seemly” age. As a reformed holier-than-thou-feminist who thought I would never deign to allow myself a bit of Botox, I can say from experience that we just don’t actually know how the impacts of aging will land until we’re in that leg of the journey. Smoke ‘em if you got ‘em!
Madonna still stirs controversy just by being—as she stunningly continues to outperform most of us. She still pulls power moves that remain mostly the purview of men—dating (significantly) younger, maintaining a touring presence on the stage into her late 60s, raking in serious dough in her golden years, reinventing her identity—and I continue to be inspired.
May we all live as boldly.
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