The Permission Slip Nobody Gave Us: Good Enough IS the Goal

We eat too much pizza. 🥲

Let me tell you what my dinner intentions look like versus my dinner reality.

Intentions: colorful plate, whole ingredients, Yuka score above 90, kids happily eating something that did not come in a box.

Reality: I pulled up the Domino’s app again. And honestly? After a day in the OR, running a business, and trying to be a semi-present human being, I made that choice on PURPOSE. Because the alternative was 3 hours in the kitchen instead of a family walk where Knox actually told me something real about his day and Tinsley did her full dramatic retelling of whatever happened at recess. That walk was worth it. The pizza was fine. Nobody got scurvy.

Real talk: Pizza night has been a comfort food staple doing its due diligence in our household for more than a decade! Here was a night during residency my also-physician husband and I were doing a kiddo pass-off and had a pizza picnic in the back of our car.

Here’s the thing Dr. Landers wrote recently that really resonated with me:

“The antidote isn’t ‘stop caring’ or ‘lower your standards.’ The antidote is: allowing yourself to do ‘good enough’ work.”

Because it’s not about wanting less. It’s about doing it differently. About there not being a dichotomy of “good” and “bad.” There’s grey. And I think there are actually three layers to this that we don’t talk about enough.

We are a dual-physician household. My husband and I both have demanding careers. And for a long time the mental image I held of what our home and family life should look like was... a lot. Nutritionally optimized meals. Milestone photos timed perfectly. Vacations with every experience checked off.

Then I missed the golden lighting window for our baby photos because- shockingly- nap time did not care about the photographer’s schedule. We have pictures of all three of us looking absolutely cringe + unhinged, kids crying, everyone a little sweaty. And I love those pictures. Because that WAS our life. That WAS the memory. I captured exactly what I intended to capture, just not the version I’d curated in my head.

The snorkel excursion we wanted on our last family vacation? Didn’t happen. (Totally my bad.) What DID happen was that we laughed until we cried at dinner, Tinsley decided she loved mango, and Knox unplugged for four days straight.

We didn’t fail the vacation. We just let it be what it was.

Practical permission slip: Pick one thing this week you’re doing at 80% and refuse to apologize for it. Write it down if you have to. P.S. The pizza is fine.

This is where outsourcing comes in- and before you roll your eyes and say “I can’t afford that” or “it would take longer to explain than to just do it myself,” I hear you. I said both of those things. For years.

But here’s the reframe: outsourcing isn’t a luxury. It’s a strategy. And it scales. It’s the family virtual assistant who manages our calendar so I don’t have to hold every appointment in my head. It’s grocery delivery. It’s the house manager who handles the things that were quietly eating my Sundays alive. It’s the virtual personal trainer who can tell you to get off your butt on a Tuesday because he’s got the plan ready to go.

The goal isn’t a perfect handoff. The goal is a real one. One that actually gives you time back.

(More on building that system- the actual how-to- inside Time Alchemy, the framework Dr. Bankhead built specifically for busy working moms who want to reclaim their time without the guilt spiral.)

This is the one that will actually set you free. And it’s the hardest one. (Boy oh boy… is it the hardest lol)

There was one week our kids were doing laundry, and accidentally switched my jeans and my 14-year-old’s jeans. Initial thoughts? “UGGGGGGGH. THESE AREN’T MINE.” You know what happened? I told them. They fixed it the next time. Life went on. (And shouldn’t I be flattered, for crying out loud?!)

Oh, and the nanny got the WRONG BRAND OF CRACKERS. WHAT WILL BECOME OF OUR HOUSEHOLD?!?!?!! My kids were... fine. Shoot, maybe they’ll even like the new ones. Maybe they won’t. That’s 1 out of 45 groceries, and 3 hours I didn’t spend at the store.

The outfit your kid wore to the park your husband chose, that you would have never chosen? (Looking at you, “Rolling Stones” tshirt on my daughter.) They went to the PARK. They ran around and had fun and had a great time in the wrong outfit. That’s a win.

Susan puts it perfectly: “Letting others contribute imperfectly.” That’s not settling. That’s sanity.

The rule I live by: 80% done by someone else is 100% awesome. I learned this from mega-entrepreneur Dan Martell. Let it go, girl. Put this rule of thumb in your head and I promise the truth shall set you free. :)

Here’s the arc if you zoom out:

1️⃣You don’t have to do it perfectly yourself

2️⃣You don’t have to do it at all to have it all

3️⃣And when someone else does it- imperfectly- that’s still a win

None of this is about lowering the bar. It’s about redirecting your energy toward the things that actually need YOU. The walk with your kids. The real conversation. The work you love. The part of your life that can’t be delegated or changed.

That’s not giving up. That’s doing it differently.

If this resonated, go follow Dr. Brittany Bankhead at Brittany Bankhead, MD

And if you want the outsourcing framework for building a support system around your life- the customized outsourcing blueprint, the hiring kit, the onboarding sheet- that’s what Time Alchemy is built for.

She’s Dr. Brittany Bankhead - trauma surgeon, wife, mom of two, and founder of Modern Mom Alchemy - a company built on Optimizing the Science of Modern Motherhood with real, actionable solutions to the problems moms have been dealing with for forever. Check her out at: modernmomalchemy.com