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Ladies, We Need To Talk · Aug 17, 2026

"I wish I'd never had them": the pain of regretting kids

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Tue 18 Aug 2026 at 2:00amTue 18 Aug 2026 at 2:00amTue 18 Aug 2026 at 2:00am · ABC listen

Having children is one of the most rewarding and meaningful things we can do. But what if you wish you'd never become a parent?

For mothers especially, the taboo of admitting they regret their children can be incredibly lonely. Many carry their grief, loss of identity and exhaustion in silence.

Yumi Stynes gets a rare window into the lives of people who love their children but admit that if they could go back in time, they'd make a different choice.

Featured in this episode:

  • Ella Reed, sociologist at Monash University researching maternal regret 

This episode will answer questions like:  

  • What does it feel like to regret having kids?
  • Why do some parents regret having children?
  • Where do you get help if you’re struggling as a parent?
  • How does regretting children impact a romantic relationship?
  • Why is maternal regret so taboo? 

What to listen to next:

"Traded a husband for a bestie" Why these mums moved in together

Worst ever dates, with Alita Brydon

The grief no parent expects

What to read next:

Empty-nesters on how they 'fill the void' left by childrenWomen on being in a sexless marriage and tips for reconnectingThese grieving mothers want you to say their babies' names

This episode contains references to motherhood, parenting, mothering, regret, anxiety, depression, suffering, family, mental load, support, relationships, romance.

More Information

Got a question for Ladies, We Need to Talk? Send an email or voice memo to ladies@abc.net.au.

Credits

Sydney, Women, Parenting

Read the original on abc.net.au

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