A Prime Day Horror Story

I’m told it’s Prime Day.

We humans celebrate some pretty preposterous holidays, but among them, this has to be the most preposterousest. A day that’s not even a single day anymore, invented by a corporation that’s grown faster than fungus, all to celebrate itself, along one of the most paradoxical concepts in the American lexicon: Savings. As if you could save money by spending it.

That said, there are some sweet deals. So I’m joining in the festivities the best way I know how: With a story. This one’s a short from one of my newest books, Mother Day. Different holiday, same basic concept (you’ll see). I hope you enjoy it—and Prime Day.

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by Kyle A. Massa

He hears a noise on his porch.

It’s early. Still dark. He’s been dreaming, dreaming he’s lost in a labyrinthine building. He saw several unusual sights, including the following:

• A bearded woman.

• A five-star restaurant with patrons dressed in hoodies and jeans.

• A volatile boiler setup he knows instinctively not to touch.

• An early morning practice of the Ithaca College men’s basketball team, all of whom seem very supportive of each other.

In this dream, he finally locates the exit, only to find himself in a wet, cold night, with barely a light to see by.

He awakens feeling disturbed for no apparent reason.

When he leaves the warm confines of the bed, his wife asks groggily, “What’s wrong?”

“Something,” he answers. “Just don’t know what it is yet.”

He tries sleeping on the couch downstairs. Tries hugging the dog for comfort. Tries swapping the throw blanket for another.

Nothing helps. Insomnia squeezes him in its unrelenting grasp. Along with another feeling…

He tries writing about the experience, first in his notebook, then in a special protected document on his laptop hard drive, one which he’ll never share with anyone, even after the inevitable day of his death. The words emerge, clumsy and inarticulate.

All these moments lead to this: A sound outside his front door.

Scuffling. Thumping. A sniff. Usually, he attributes such sounds to animals. This is the suburbs, the woods aren’t far, and squirrels aren’t shy.

But this isn’t a squirrel. It’s something heavier. Something deliberate. And whatever it is, it’s right on the doorstep.

Is this the source of his unease? A premonition of something large and menacing emerging from the dark? He rises from his couch. He closes his laptop.

He edges forward, each step bringing him nearer to the door. He hears a grunt outside. A voice.

He draws nearer. Blood surges through his veins. He clutches his right hand to his chest, his left tightening into a fist. His teeth chatter. Sweat traces a line down his back.

Another step, and still, he sees nothing through the window. Just the inky murk of early morning. When’s the last time he cried? He’s afraid he might right now.

Two more steps. One. He extends a trembling hand and yanks open the door.

Light from within spills outside, onto a man wearing an Amazon uniform.

“Hey man,” the Amazon driver says. “Here’s your package. A porch light would be nice next time.” With that, he jogs back to his electric van.

But the man, the man whose name appears on the package, he doesn’t take it. He shuts the door, breathes a sigh. Of relief, yes—but mostly embarrassment.

“Honey,” he calls up the stairs to his wife. “Your Black Friday items just arrived.”

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That’s all. If you’d like to read more stories like this, you can find Mother Day and her companion collection, Father Night, in those links.

And yes, I am an Amazon Affiliate, so if you’d like to support me on your shopping spree, please consider entering the site using my affiliate code. I really appreciate it!

And of course, happy Prime Day.

Kyle A. Massa is a comedy author of some sort living somewhere in upstate New York with his wife, their daughter, and three wild animals. His published works include 10 books, along with several short stories, essays, and poems. When he’s not writing, he enjoys reading, running, and drinking cheap coffee.

Some links in this publication might be affiliate links. This means the author earns a commission on sales made through those links, while you pay no additional cost. Just another way to support indie authors!