Message bottles. This blog is more like a personal diary than anything else. I have nothing to sell or proselytize. I used to be on Tumblr then moved t...
I'm a bit late on a deadline with work. I guess "late" isn't the right word, but it feels like I haven't gotten it to the right amount of detail that we need it to be. I feel like it's inadequate, even though I did everything my supervisor asked me to do. Depression and anxiety have been making things much more difficult for me, lately. I can't focus. Every day feels like I'm drowning. Even with…
Vewn is one of my favorite visual artists and animators if not my favorite. I think her surreal and "ugly" art style capture the feeling of dissociation, detachment, and alienation from the human condition that come with being depressed and abused or neglected. She's been making more live action content recently in the form of YouTube shorts (which are all fantastic) heavily inspired by our…
I should be cleaning my room, but instead I'm sitting here listening to music and thinking about attachment psychology. I think, unfortunately, there is an allure in categorization to most people. Labels are useful for conveying your life experience in shorthand to people or communicating a part of your identity. That's why thousands upon hundred thousands of little microlabels and identifiers…
I've been starting to write poetry and fanfiction again. It's been about two months since Hollow Knight: Silksong released, and it has quickly become a game that is very near and dear to my heart. I want to replay it, speedrun it, stream it--I want to play it and live in the world of Pharloom forever. I'm unsure if I'll ever return to illustration in any serious capacity though... There's been a…
I have been playing a lot of retro games lately. Not truly "retro" by the standards of people my age, I think, but in the grand scheme of things they're called retro. A lot of things on the PSP, PS Vita, and Game Boy Advance library because I have a homebrewed Vita I have in my everyday carry. I've been drawn to things like Pokemon as I never played any of the Game Boy titles, the Harvest Moon…
These annotations will have minor spoilers for the first volume of Love Bullet . Love Bullet is a manga that went mini-viral on Twitter a while back when the mangaka inee was at risk of not seeing her work serialized. So manga readers and yuri enthusiasts all around the world rushed to support her wherever they could. As the contrarian that I am, I didn't pick up reading it until now. I've read…
I think the hardest part of breaking up for me isn't wondering if I could've changed things, or if I was a different version of myself we could've been happier, but not having someone to say "I love you" to. This is extremely weird to explain to people. Yes, part of the reason I loved being in a relationship was feeling like I belonged to someone and vice versa, but I loved being able to love…
Frankly, a lot of my posts are pretty miserable and personal, so I figured it might be good to do something fun. For a change of pace. This questions challenge was created by Ava . 1. Why did you make the blog in the first place? I have been blogging on Tumblr for as long as I've existed. I used a sideblog, actually, since it was easier to keep my personal thoughts separate from "my" thoughts as a…
Worries Things are still going badly with my partner. I'm always saying the wrong things. I think my boundaries are too strict and I need to loosen up. This is one thing I don't want to compromise on, though, so I don't know if I'm to blame here. I feel nervous about blogging so much, nearly every day, but this is what I would do on Tumblr, I guess. Just in longform. In the meantime, I have car…
Hi, me. I don't know if you're still going to be "me" but I figured I would write this as if "I" would read it. Regardless of who "you" are now... I wish I could tell you things were okay and perfect. Some things are good and some things are bad. You're still with your partner, and yes you have a partner, after 10 years somehow. Things aren't "normal" by any means, but you get by. You have an okay…