How are you supposed to "Be a Man" when you're dealt a family packed with gifted, disabled, and neurodiverse kids?
Something we wish every parent and every leader knew is getting good behavior is easier and more effective without punishment.
Thank goodness Tim Campbell, Ph.D. retired from his work alleviating worldwide poverty so he could get his story out. Holding Up the Sky is a deeply personal exploration of what it means to be a father when life doesn’t go as planned. The moment he learned that his infant daughter was not expected to live, he started on a journey of love, struggle, and resilience. Through the lens of a parent raising three children-two with disabilities and two who are gifted (one is both), Campbell delves into the pain and joy of fatherhood. In this interview, we talked about the difficulties of disciplining diverse kids, the expectations around discipline of “being a man,” and building a trust machine. Grab his beautiful book at www.holdingupthesky.net and learn more about Tim’s journey at www.timcampbellodysseys.net.
The Winning Family: Where No One Has to Lose by Dr. Louise Hart & Kristen Caven
In this chapter, you’ll learn:
Why punishment—even when well-intended—damages trust, self-esteem, and relationships
How physical punishment and verbal shaming teach fear, shame, and disconnection rather than responsibility
The cultural myths behind punishment (spare the rod, carrot and stick) and why they persist
How punishment and rewards both rely on external control and undermine internal motivation
Why discipline is not something you do to a child, but something you develop with them
The difference between discipline as control and discipline as learning
How guidance, agreements, and democratic leadership replace power struggles
Why children need to learn from natural and logical consequences, not threats or bribes
How rescuing too much prevents children from becoming capable and self-sufficient
When rescue is necessary—and how to balance love, limits, and safety
Why misbehavior is a signal, not a character flaw
How parents can act as coaches, not controllers
How proactive guidance builds responsibility, trust, cooperation, and lifelong self-discipline
Plus a long list of practical, respectful tools for guiding behavior without damaging self-esteem
Quotes from The Winning Family
by Dr. Louise Hart & Kristen Caven
“Punishment doesn’t work.”
“Violence towards children is encoded in our language.”
“Hitting a child harms a child.”
“When children are deliberately hurt by parents, whom they trust, love, and depend on, they receive a powerful negative message: I don’t deserve love or care.”
“Children learn about themselves by observing how they are treated and then drawing conclusions.”
“When people are blamed and punished, they feel as if they have been attacked or violated.”
“You cannot spoil an infant by responding to its cries.”
“A carrot-and-stick approach is an external motivation. So is just a carrot.”
“The idea of positive parenting is to help kids find their own internal motivation.”
“Discipline is about following a path.”
“Having and using power responsibly means only using discipline as a noun.”
“Guidance focuses on engagement and learning, not punishment.”
“We can’t blame kids for making trouble when they are having trouble.”
“Mistakes give feedback about what to do differently the next time.”
“Misbehavior is a signal that something isn’t right.”
Get The Winning Family: Where No One Has to Lose wherever books are sold!
Grab some free ebooks over atwww.upliftpress.com and www.upliftprograms.com, and
Watch my free “From Whining to Winning” mini-class on YouTube!
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