Hi! You may know me as scratchingway, or Ketra, or Maple, or... any of another dozen or so handles or names. Don't worry, I'll have new ones before you know ...
here's a short story i slapped together today It is not uncommon for a passenger to lose a belonging on a plane. Some things, of course, are more important than others: a wallet outranks a toy. Some are doomed to be lost: the sense of camaraderie developed via weathering severe turbulence inevitably gives way to the battle royale of disembarking. And some carry value not so much in themselves but…
[Not safe for work, sorta. Contains food imagery.] I wake up and I feel like I got some good sleep. A full night. I remember probably not, actually; I didn't fall asleep until past 10:15 and it's still dark outside. But I feel pretty rested. I don't resist the urge to pick up my phone. My phone is already across the room. In order to look at screen I have to use feet to get there. But I'm awake.…
I was born knowing how to read. I don't mean I knew how to read when I was extracted from my mother's womb -- Caesarian section, I mean, when I came into this world, as fragments of memories, sensations, faces, environments, events... by the time I started accumulating those like the first motes of dust on a new appliance, I had already learned how to read. I was born knowing how to read, in the…
Hi, I'm still around. Just been doing a ton of personal work. Some therapy, a ton of journaling, some creative writing, a bit of drawing. More coding than I've ever done in my life, probably. I'm doing okay. I'm hurting a lot. I'm not sleeping well. I wake up way too early. But I'm getting done what I need to get done, and more on top of that. I'm staying as busy and productive as I can manage. If…
I'm still doing okay lately. I've been dealing with sleep deprivation and it's made it difficult to work through personal issues or projects. So mostly I've just been cleaning around the house and half-watching or half-reading various streams or books. My counselor has advised me to take it easy and not force myself to work harder on emotional things than I can manage, so I'm trying to do just…
Damn, my last post was kind of intense. But I guess it's how I felt at the time. My emotions often come on pretty fast and hard these days, and I'm not always interested in keeping them contained. I stand by what I said, although I've seen more cards since that have designs that are more interesting. I'm doing pretty good the past few days. I was struggling with whether or not to go to my…
The Final Fantasy MTG set makes me want to fucking scream and claw myself to shreds. I don't know why I feel so strongly about it, and I wish I could have a more reasonable reaction to it, but it's deeply alienating. Truly, deeply alienating. I think it's maybe the conjunction of different factors that augments what are otherwise moderate but still distressing problems. I dislike the…
Just wanted to post some notes about FF8, since I finished replaying it recently. Mostly I just wanted to talk about Squall. It always felt like he was judged to be this sort of whiny, "emo" protagonist compared to Cloud's coolness or Zidane's outgoing, streetwise nature. But Squall isn't particularly whiny and his "...Whatever" nature is totally understandable given the context of what he's been…
Just checking in. I've been writing a lot but not much of it has ended up here. It's been a 50/50 split between privately journaling my feelings and writing letters to family I don't intend to ever send. I wrote by hand until I couldn't anymore, then I typed until I couldn't anymore, then I broke out the voice recorder. I don't want to dive into things much publicly, but there was a death in the…
I'm still kicking! I have a number of posts I've been working on that are in various states of repair or disrepair. I went to my first furry convention, Texas Furry Fiesta, so I definitely want to jot down my experiences there. In general, it was good, though I did throw a major tantrum and I'm still trying to emotionally recover from that. I've also got notes on the link between fandom and like,…