HOUSEKEEPING!
Also, make sure you are following my Sunday Night Lights fiction-comedy series about a megachurch hosting a reality TV competition to decide its next pastor.
Listen below if you want to start from the beginning…
BOTTOM OF THE PYRAMID
How Dare You Use My Words Against Me!
In an interview that aired yesterday on Meet the Press, our President sat across from Kristen Welker in a barn in Wisconsin and behaved like an ancient sea creature who speaks only fluent political brain rot.
It’s all so deeply, deeply embarrassing, isn’t it? We may have always been politically disingenuous, but at least there was an elegance to the deception and at least our Presidents weren’t so intellectually underfed and OBVIOUS about it.
If one was to look for a silver lining, at least in this interview he didn't point a geriatric sausage finger across the hay and say "Quiet, Piggy," like he did that one time. Small mercies, right?
It should also be said that it’s INSANE by NBC to schedule a presidential interview in a barn with a metal roof when there’s even 0.5% chance of rain. Has anyone producing this interview ever seen a barn or rain? It’s very much giving…
UGA Middle Relief!
Let the record show, I texted my group chat after the first home run and hit send immediately as the second home run was flying through the air. It’s a chance to clinch
NO ONE comes back from back-to-back dingers. Back-to-back-to-back? Put that kid in a dark and quiet room and get him some McDonald’s.
Graham Platner!
I won’t pretend to understand the political situation in Maine, but should you really be running for U.S. Senate when you used to have a tattoo identified as a Nazi SS death’s head, one you say you got while “very inebriated” and then, by your own account, NEVER ONCE THOUGHT to ask a single human being about it for eighteen years?
ADDITIONALLY, and most recently, should you still be running when your campaign has recently been preoccupied explaining sext messages to women who were your wife, which immediately followed them trying to explain away old but problematic Reddit posts?
Call me crazy, but it feels like judgment is a pretty big part of being a senator, no?
MIDDLE OF THE PYRAMID
Cape Fear!
It’s very meh. The house Patrick Wilson and Amy Adams live in, a gorgeous low-country monstrosity of ill-fitting aesthetics, is the REAL star of the show. There are some interesting ideas in it, and Javier Bardem is just CHEWING up the scenery, but it’s hard to turn a classic movie into ten episodes of TV, I don’t care how insane things get.
My favorite subplot of the pilot is that the Bowdens' son goes missing for an entire day, the same day as an important gala, no less, and even though Amy Adams' vengeful former client (Javier Bardem) has just been liberated from prison, nobody thinks a thing of it!
MEANWHILE, if I hear one siren within a mile of me, I am immediately on Life360 confirming the coordinates of every person I love, but kudos to Anna and Tom Bowden for committing to free-range parenting with a recently paroled Javier Bardem loose in the metro area.
Horror Movies!
I saw two horror movies in a five-day span, which is two more horror movies than I usually see at the theater. I'd consider myself a horror movie snob, but I find there are two distinct kinds of horror movies: ones where the spectacle of gore, fear, and jump scares is the point, and ones that try to say something subversive while also serving the audience's experiential expectations. Backrooms and Obsession are very much the latter.
(No spoilers for either, by the way. I’m keeping it chill and broad.)
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