After procrastinating as long as I can remember, the cathartic act of sorting out my book cases, I finally prioritised it this quite month. There’s something liberating of getting rid of stuff that you tucked in there thinking, I might need it. Occasionally, I found some gems and nuggets that I was glad I tucked them in the book cases.
I chanced upon my first job offer letter from more than 25 years ago. It took me down a long memory lane. The salary listed was small, but I vividly remember feeling ecstatic. The first salary credit into my very own newly opened bank account was another milestone. I remember I felt happiest, I felt rich, I was ecstatic. My outgoings were smaller so had some savings at the end of the month. Finally, something to my name. Hooray!
Life was good.
The second salary credit was good too.
By the time I was 6-8 months into the job, my needs grew – mostly branded clothes. The savings were not catching up.
Naïve about the ways of negotiating a salary increase, I broached the topic tentatively, vaguely and apologetically with my boss – to his enduring credit, my hike came around quickly and it was much more than I dreamed of.
I was over the moon. I was top of the world.
My needs kept up with my new salary – more branded clothes, eating out occasionally.
Another fantastic salary increase followed.
My needs and expenses followed suit faithfully – bought my first suit, more eating out, bought my first bike, a Hero Honda Splendour, moved out of shared accommodation to a flat.
There were no more savings.
After more than nearly 20 salary hikes, across roles, countries and currencies, the magic of the new salary wanes quickly.
The happiness is fleeting.
No sooner has the smile left my face, I am now focused on the next hike.
Same with cars.
Same with houses.
Same with pension pots.
After brief peak in happiness, we return to our stable level of happiness regardless of external changes. There is a term for this – hedonistic treadmill.
As humans, once we get something we want, we get habituated to it and our reference point resets to the new thing. It becomes our new normal. We learn of someone get the next thing, and our achievement feels smaller. Now we want the next big thing, thinking we will be happy when we get it. We start chasing. We are well and truly on the hedonistic treadmill - running faster and faster to be in the same place. We may achieve a lot but feel empty. The happiness levels remains same or at a similar level as in the past. More money, more stuff has not translated into more happiness. The goalpost has moved.
The top of one mountain is the bottom of the next!
Reflecting on this, I have learnt some amount of hedonistic treadmill is needed, in fact, healthy, to keep us motivated, strive for improvement and change our trajectory.
We don’t want to surrender to the hedonistic treadmill completely, though. The magic lies in balance – a Goldilocks level sweet spot – not too much and not too less.
Finding that is an inside job - looking for our own genuine intrinsic motivations and aligning our goals to them. Being grateful for the journey we have made so far. Being mindful of the trade-offs for the future journey.
Like Goldilocks, we need to try different things as we ride the treadmill to become self-aware and find our balance. The earlier we find our balance, the richer our life.
See you next week. Do good work!
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Photo by Salim Serdar Bali on Pexels
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