It’s often said that death and taxes are the only certainties in life. Over the years I have learnt that there are a few more certainties. Regrets are one of those. Yet, the common narrative is that we should live a life of ‘No Regrets’.
Speaking to our friends and family, we know that everyone have some regret or the other – the regret over a resolution on 2nd January, the regret over just one more cookie when following a diet plan, the regret of skipping your walk when the sky was overcast but no rain forecast, the regret of one last drink and missing the last train home. We can brush over daily regrets into our mundane busy daily life and repeat them all over again the next day. In the overall scheme of things, life continues uninterrupted.
Not all regrets are the same though – the bigger ones, the bedrocks, the structural ones – have lot more impact to our long term well-being and satisfaction. Neglecting health, disregarding wealth creation, ignoring core relationships – you know what to do, yet there is something always more important. Then the tons of missed chances – the college you didn’t apply for, the job you didn’t take a chance on, your silence in a pivotal conversation – not countenancing the options, choosing the safe bet and living with the burden of ‘what might have been’.
Bronnie Ware spent several years caring for dying people in their homes. Her full-length memoir, The Top Five Regrets of the Dying, shares further wisdom from dying people and how Bronnie’s own life was transformed through this learning. http://bronnieware.com/regrets-of-the-dying
She listed the five most common regrets
1) I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
2) I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.
3) I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
4) I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
5) I wish I had let myself be happier.
What stuck me was that people regretted what they didn’t do rather than what they did do – regrets of inaction are more than the regrets of action.
When you take action, and if it is regrettable, the situation forces you to make amends or in the course of time you can reverse it.
However, when you defer to inaction, you put it on the slow boil, procrastinating every day, moving it to the next day, and eventually it is too late to act on it.
Overall, it is clear we are all wired to have some regrets – even the most intentional living. So, what can we do about them?
What you regret the most is what you value the most.
Taking action can minimise the regret and serve as a springboard to new opportunities.
If wealth creation is top on your list, further procrastination will not change that.
Take action now.
See you next week. Do good work!
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