Things that are worth giving a fuck about

There are a lot of things in the world you could give a fuck about, but not all of them are worth the energy. Sometimes it’s society whispering in your ear. Sometimes it’s anxiety dressed up as urgency. And most people—like dazed zombies—just listen. Go along with it. Don’t question the weight they’re carrying.

It’s normal. Part of being a product of your environment. As insecure teenagers, we cling to whatever gives us a sense of control or belonging. Then, as adults, we forget we can set things down. We keep carrying burdens that stopped serving us a long time ago.

This isn’t a “what I’ve learned in my 30s” post. Mostly because time is a construct, and there’s no magical shift when you hit a new decade. That kind of change happens from altering your mindset or whatever Medium article hits your algorithm that week.

I’m also not naive enough to think I’ve figured life out. Hopefully, I’ve still got a few decades to mess things up. To grow. To change my mind about something I swore I believed maybe even something in this very post.

But for now, this list feels true. It feels like something solid to hold onto. And maybe it’ll help you reconsider where your fucks are going and whether they deserve to be there.

You’ve probably heard it before: moving your body releases a cocktail of chemicals that feel fucking fantastic. Serotonin, dopamine, endorphins.

It’s always been the case that my mental health declines, either when I forget to take my meds (as to be expected) or I haven’t moved my body with purpose in quite some time.

You know the type: they’re warm when you’re around, but never initiate seeing you. Never ask how your parents are doing. You know, deep down, if you stopped trying, things would disintegrate into simply viewing each other’s IG stories.

I say: let it die.

The promise of coffee has pulled me through more mornings than hope ever has. And I’ve learned that bad coffee, especially when it’s daily, is a quiet form of suffering. Upgrade the beans you use. Get that cashew milk, even if it’s a little expensive. After all, if your coffee sucks, what hope does the rest of your day have?

Passion fades. Life’s responsibilities arrive, along with the arguments they cause. And they’ll be exponentially harder with someone who won’t apologize or self-reflect. That’s why it’s so important to find someone you can do life with. Not just the one who’s hot and always down for a good time.

If you’re not reaching for it, that’s your answer. The author won’t know. Instagram won’t know. Life’s too short for books that feel like a chore. DNF with confidence.

I used to be an “I’m not into politics” girl. Then I realized my ignorance was embarrassing. Masked privilege. You don’t have to be an expert. But caring, even a little, makes you a better human.

This one’s for my female readers, since the guys have plenty of podcasts about this. Learn the basics about the stock market. ETFs. Compound interest. Don’t let your money sit in a checking account for years, losing money to inflation. Financial literacy is hot.

Your attention is like its own currency. That’s why companies spend good money trying to capture it. But if you’re not careful, your attention can fixate on content that heightens your anxiety, persuades you to buy more, or convinces you you’re not a beautiful person.

Start noticing how you feel, given where your attention does. Then remember you can choose not to feel the bad parts.

You’ll spend a third of your life in bed, so say the *experts.* Make it feel good. Create a shortcut to turn your phone screen red. Get an eye mask that fits your face. Buy a pillow that actually supports your neck. Treat sleep like it’s a direct investment into your long-term health, because it is.

High school me spent too much time trying to impress people I didn’t even like. And it was apparent every time I looked in the mirror and hated the person looking back at me.

If there’s one area of your life to give a lot of fucks, it’s to like who you are, even when no one is around. Even small changes in this area can make a big impact.

For the sake of uncoupling from social media and how people perceive your life: have a hobby that you don’t post about. That way, you know you truly love it and there’s no pressure to perform.

I’m guilty of letting items sit in my closet, unworn but with so much potential, all because they’re slightly too long or hang on my neck a little funky. As a result, I’ve spent too much on more more more.

Buy items that are quality. Tailor them. Keep them forever. The magic equation to loving your wardrobe.

Being alone with your thoughts is a skill I fear people are forgetting. I’d go as far as to say that it’s an art form, due to the rarity.

But blankness, nothingness, is so good for your mind.

Stare out the window. Sit in silence. Witness the world without expecting it to be something for you.

You don’t have to enroll in anything. There are plenty of free courses, books, and people to learn from our there. It’s important to remember: learning is a muscle; when you don’t use it, atrophy begins.

This kind of stagnation doesn’t just affect the brain, it affects the spirit, too. Never stop learning. Keep being curious.

If you say you’ll show up, show up. Not following through sends a loud message to the other person that they’re not worth your time. Which, if you think your time is valuable or that you deserve respect, is hypocritical.

So keep your word. Keep your integrity.

Digitally speaking, take the time right now to back up your life. Photos, files, Dropbox links. If you have to, buy a hard drive or extra cloud space. This is one of those “you’ll care way more after it’s too late” kind of things.

You’re not meant to work all the time, nor are you paid to be. That email can wait until tomorrow. You owe it to yourself to log off, to reinforce the idea that you’re more than how productive you can be.

It’s not about the plant. It’s about proving to yourself that you can care for something, even it’s small and quiet and no one would know. Treat them like the metaphor they are: growth begets growth.

Empathy shouldn’t be political, yet here we are. People cling to the version of the world that benefits them most, even if it comes at someone else’s expense.

But you don’t have to choose that. You can want good things for yourself and for others. That kind of compassion beautiful and rare. It’s worth holding onto.

That’s it. That’s all. Let me know which one you want to start giving more fucks about.

I’ll leave you with a few things I’ve been loving lately:

• loving 1: The audiobook version of Beautiful Ugly. I was hooked, all the way through. I may have chose a different ending, but it was still delectable.

• loving 2: This thriller writing course from BBC Maestro. I’d never heard of Harlan Coben, but I love how he thinks about writing. It makes me want to take more of BBC’s courses.

• loving 3: Quest protein chips. I know, the protein-frenzy that’s happening right now is very real. But I lift weights and care about my protein intake. Sue me. And their chips are actually so good.

• loving 4: Board games. Specifically Sorry. It’s so simple yet so fun.

• loving 5: This very specific chocolate bar I enjoyed over the weekend. Oh. My. God. I gave all the fucks about it.