Three things under 15 quid that have helped my hair.

I want to start this by saying that at least 50% of my soul thinks that Curly Girl routines are up there with ten step skincare routines and clothes without pockets in terms of patriarchal bullshit. I naturally fight against anything I perceive to be authority so to me these routines seem like they might be ways of exhausting and distracting women so they have fewer reserves (financial, emotional) to fight or notice sexism and injustice. Don’t ask me to explain more because it’s very much greenshoots as a blanket statement goes.

Back to the hair, let’s talk types. I don’t know what my hair is, I suspect wavy? The actual hairs themselves are very fine but there are LOTS of them. It’s flat at the roots and the volume is in the ends.
I also dye my hair darker and lighter (On the same head? A visionary) and have done since I was sixteen so you better believe parts of my hair are damaged enough for me to endeavour to have a romantic relationship with them in my twenties.

If I spend time on a beach on a horse (not sure why it needs those two as a combo) my hair turns into ringlets. I don’t have the kind of lifestyle where I can pop on a pony and head to the dunes when I want to look naturally tousled for a wedding so I thought I’d list the things that have helped my hair, on the cheap, for the days when I want to not blow dry it into some approximation of straight.

Seanik - Shampoo Bar - Lush - £10

I love a shampoo bar. As someone who’s perpetually worried about every piece of plastic they use and which turtle’s mouth it will block up I’ve long been partial to a bar. They travel really well in those wee tins and take up less space than even a small bottle of shampoo which is great for someone like me who often lives out a suitcase.

There’s no sulphates and parabens, I do not know what this means but confidentially say it. I did the same with the word “furlough” for about 7 weeks and I got away with that.

I especially like it when I swap out something that isn’t good for the planet for something that is kinder and it’s still effective, when it’s better I’m over the moon. Shampoo bars are that for me, I’d never go back. Conditioner on the other hand….

So, I was using Lush’s Montalbano or as I professionally call it “the one with the lemon”, it has a piece of lemon on the top. It’s main job was to make my hair shiny and it did. When I stopped using heat on my hair I knew I needed to think about the products I was using so I went in and chatted to a guy in Lush Liverpool. Just try NOT talking to the staff in there, they buzz off being helpful and in turn I loved to be helped. I told him I wanted to wear my hair wavy, I wanted a shampoo that supported that but I still wanted shine, enter stage left, Seanik. He explained the salt would help with curls and volume and there was loads of seaweed and delicious stuff in there to make it hydrating. It sounded like a day on a horse on a beach in a bar, perfect. He explained he used it on his curly hair and lowered his head an told me I should touch it, I politely declined. I later heard him spinning out that he’d been weird and asked a woman he didn’t know to touch his hair. If you’re reading this, don’t worry, you’re not on a bad guy list and if you were that will have no effect your social or economic standing in any way, you might even end up President.

Anyway, the bar really delivers and I so appreciate the shine and volume that I still use it on days I’m not planning on wearing my hair wavy.

The Bouncer - Universal Diffuser - Drybar - £5, Vinted

A slight cheat here as this is about £30 new but there’s loads on Vinted still in their boxes.

I’m new to the life of diffusing and good lord is it boring. I was also finding out the hard way that when you stay at a hotel a diffuser is as rare as semen free curtains (also in a hotel) but you can’t always work around their being no diffuser like you can with the curtains*.

So, I decided to buy a diffuser that was likely to fit on most hotel hairdryers. The Bouncer by drybar was being pushed hard. I hate the name of it because it sounds likes it’s going to say I can’t have wavy hair if I’m wearing trainers or I’m too drunk and those are my favourite pre requisites to drying my hair.

I’m so addicted to getting second hand bargains that when I see something I want - new to the world - I always sniff around eBay and vinted first. Nine times out of ten it’s there and far cheaper than buying it new. I don’t keep boxes so I couldn’t give a shit that the corners are damaged and I’d much rather send a real person £6 than give a chain shop £29.99.

So this is a slight cheat in that brand new this diffuser is around the £30 mark but I recommended it to a pal who paid £7 for hers on vinted and I had a gander now and there’s one on Vinted for £8 in the box.

So far it fits all the hairdryers** I’ve tried it on and it’s much easier to throw in a bag than a whole hairdryer set up.

My hair is noticeably bouncier with more curls when I use it and with a bit of volume spray in the roots it gives it the nice round shape I’m after. If left to it’s own devices my roots are flatter than the earth is claimed to be and it’s a very unflattering vibe. A bit of diffusing in the roots gives it nice movement and a shape I can play with/arrange depending on how I’m feeling about fringes or my blonde streak that day.

*Put a shoe on each hand and using hand-feet to open and close the curtains.

** Not a Dyson but if you can afford one of them, or a hotel that has one then you’re probably not getting your diffusers on vinted, or aware of who I am.

Enhance and Perfect Curl Cream - The Curl Company - £8.99, Boots (probably cheaper on Amazon but if you’re shopping there give your head a fucking wobble).

A wise friend with actual curls said this was the dog’s bollocks and I’m struggling to disagree. I throw it on my hair when it’s a wet but not soaking and it locks in the moisture but doesn’t weigh the hair down. I still have to pop something on my roots because they are weak little bitches who collapse like a Jane Austen character if given a chance but this cream is really great at giving hold and moisture but never crunch. Crisps, carrots and fizzy drinks, happy with a lot of crunch, I don’t want it on my hair. It smells nice too, which I didn’t think I was bothered about but I have a refresh spray that smells like men from the 90s and I try my best to avoid using it as a result. It’s effective but I just keep thinking my hair will ask me if Triple H is my favourite wrestler or start reading Nuts magazine when I use it.

I picked up a smaller, similar product from the same company as this at Church Home Bargains yesterday for a couple of quid so will report back soon.

Mix and Fix bundling curly hair spray - Wow Colour - £15 travel size

Maybe this is also a cheat cos it’s the travel size and I bought the big one from Sally’s at the end of last year but I do believe in trying smaller versions of stuff while you work out what agrees with your hair type. It’s cheaper and if you’re like me I’ll use stuff I think is rubbish out of spite and the desperation to recycle.

How you like the texture of your hair is deeply personal but for my hair on my head I don’t like the hard, crispy look so I haven’t had much luck with mousses and gels. Creams are a generally too heavy, oils make my hair greasy, both work beautifully on my partner’s ringlets though, in particular Welsh brand Olew.

This spray goes on straight out the shower on to your wet hair and then I whack it up in a microfibre towel and just leave it till I’ve done my body and face moisturising. Then diffuse etc.

It gives me shiny waves and curls that hold all the day. I don’t know how it works but it just does for me. I also think you can’t use too much of it which can be the balancing act with waves and curls. The perfect amount creates stunning hair, a spritz or pump too far a you look wet and limp for most the day, like a salad that hasn’t travelled well. I’ve yet to hit tipping point with this spray.

I hope this was useful although I’m aware that hair is so deeply unique and personal. Maybe you’ll find something useful in here or maybe you’ll take this for its primary intention and tell me my hair looks good.