50 books, ranked (#50-26)

2026 brought with it the lethal combination of unemployment, moving to a house, finally getting a dog-walking gig, and discovering audiobooks. The former three steps were the means and the latter element was the mode to how I am able to say I have read 50 books this year so far.

To be clear: I think bragging about how many books you’ve read is stupid. We can’t all read fast, and I’d rather sit and really reflect on what I’m reading than zoom through a ton of novellas just to hit a goal on Jeff Bezos’ reading jack-off website GoodReads.

But when you’re literally always doing something with your Shokz on, you’re bound to get through a lot of audiobooks - no matter how much you’re listening to them.

To be even more extra clear: This post isn’t for you. Fuck you. This post is literally only for me - to remember what I thought of all of these books and also to give me something to write about as I attempt to publish something for fifty days in a row. It’s day nineteen and I’m already regretting that self-imposed punishment goal, so here we are. That’s also why I’m splitting this into two posts, making this two days’ worth of content. Yes, I’m getting lazy.

But also, if you do end up reading any of these books - good or bad - hit me up.

Fuck John Grisham, fuck this book, fuck anyone who enjoys this book. My friend got me this in a “blind date with a book” box, so no one is at fault for the waste of space this book takes up in my mind except for me (for not DNF’ing it) and John Grisham. This was my Fable review:

Would not recommend this book to my worst enemy.

Honestly, just not memorable. Nothing to say here. I can’t even remember why I ranked it so low other than to say I just hated it.

I wanted to like this so, so badly. One thing that will always take me out of a book is poor grammar - coupled with bad character development, this was a drag (no pun intended) to get through. This book should have been a biography of Harriet Tubman instead of a lot of Tubman lore dressed up as fiction. I knew from listening to interviews with Bob that all of the facts in the book were true, but if I hadn’t seen those interviews, I would have spent the whole book undermining the truth of the facts because of the fictionalized story at its center.

OKAY BEFORE EVERYONE COMES AT ME!!!! I listened to this as an audiobook. It was produced by one of those companies that hires a bunch of underpaid actors to do all the different voices, and I do think that’s what ruined this romantasy for me. During the kissing scenes, the two actors would just moan in the background. Gave me the ick.

This is perhaps so low because my expectations for Henry are so high. My favorite part of Henry’s books are the side characters, and I felt like there weren’t many memorable or well-developed ones here.

A great book with an ending that felt like it was written five minutes before the deadline.

I have no memory of reading this.

Arguably so low because I spent the first 98% of the book thinking it was nonfiction (sorry Katie Yee)

Another author for whom I held very high expectations! I thought I would get an ending that had me gasping out loud, but what I got was an ending that felt…meh.

Better plot and characters than Seasonal Fears, but still overall pretty disappointing compared to the first book in the trilogy.

Great characters and a lukewarm plot. I feel like whatever Matthews writes next is going to be phenomenal - this read as an author who is on the precipice of greatness.

I LOVE a short story collection, and this one was so much fun. Only so low because other books were better than some of the stories.

A “boring” story that had me constantly picking up my book for more. Just wish the ending was a little better.

95% amazing and 5% horrific. The ending had me questioning every choice that led me to this book in the first place.

So good and also so bad. Stories sort of lose their power when there’s an afterword explaining how you’re supposed to feel that power like you’re a toddler.

One of the funniest authors I’ve ever read, hands down. The plot was only meh, but Stevenson’s writing style made up for it in droves.

One of the weirdest coincidences that has ever happened to me was picking up this book, which opens on the main character’s 27th birthday, on my 27th birthday. Not higher but also not lower mainly because I had a hard time following it, perhaps attributable to my crash-out over turning 27.

Okay…FUN! This was such a cute read. I can definitely see how this would develop a cult following. Definitely like if Thursday Murder Club and Dungeon Crawler Carl had a baby book.

I was not smart enough, nor enough of a nerd, to follow this plot all the way through. Not my favorite DCC, but still very good.

Another sci-fi book I wasn’t smart enough to fully grasp - but still SO good.

Third grade was WAYYYY too early to be reading this book. I highly recommend reading this again in adulthood if you haven’t read it since you were a child.

Again, I adore short story collections. A great starting point if you’re looking to get into sci-fi/fantasy and love Monty Python - I’ll never say no to reading (or re-reading) anything by Prachett.

Very strange book plot and character-wise, but I just adore King’s prose style too much to rank this any lower.

Only this low because it is so heavy, and I also had a hard time reading the incorrect grammar written and said by her main characters. I could read this three hundred times and find something new every time.

I will never say no to a book where evil men get karma served to them on a platter by a badass woman.