Hallelujah
I heard there was a secret chord, That David played and it pleased the Lord. But you don’t really care for music do ya’? Even from a...
Kingdom of Failure
Kingdom of Failure
Latest posts
Check Engine
The check engine light in my car has been on since the fall of 2023. It’s unlike me not to address it. I’ve always been a person who took...
Ferris Bueller’s Lay Off
I remember walking out of the theatre after seeing The Breakfast Club for the first time and wanting so badly to be Judd Nelson, but...
“The Six-Foot Woman Blues”
E Here comes my old lady. E My baby’s six-foot one. E Baby, my old lady she’s a whole ‘lot of fun. E A...
All I wanted was a Pepsi. Just one Pepsi. And she wouldn't give it to me.
Life is filled with different phases and transitions. Currently, I’m enjoying my middle-aged man phase. It’s an interesting time filled...
Graceland
“This is the story of how we begin to remember. This is the powerful pulsing of love in the vein.” When the album Graceland came out, I...
Man of Constant Sorrow
Chapter One: Physics I am a man of constant sorrow I’ve seen trouble all my days. I bid farewell to old Kentucky The place where I was...
What if, what if is the problem?
I don’t watch much TV anymore. I used to watch tons, but once the kids were born that changed. At first, I was just too tired. If I had...
How Am I Any Different?
I’m trying really hard to be a good American these days. Sincerely. I really am. It’s difficult. There’s a lot of pressure. You’re really...
Meet My Bully
The guy who bullied me in high school got arrested a few months ago. You’d think I’d be happy about it, but I find myself holding a...
Find what you love and let it kill you
I’m a star-shaped balloon, running out of gas. I reached for the moon, but it was beyond my grasp. You should have seen me an hour ago. I...
If Ever There Were a Vote in Need of Being Rocked
“And these children that you spit on As they try to change their worlds. Are immune to your consultations They're quite aware of what...
Upside Down
When are you gonna come down? When are you going to land? I should have stayed on the farm I should have listened to my old man. As the...
Blood
“Do you realize? That everyone you know, someday, will die. And instead of saying all of your goodbyes. Let them know you realize that...
The Rapidly Diminishing Return on Fuck-You Money
Poor Jack McGrath just wants to be a stringer. But he can’t hold the strings because he broke all of his fingers. So he says to himself,...
The Case Against Collaboration—A Secret Chinese Restaurant in Suburban Detroit
"For a writer, sometimes, it's good to step away." Says only the writer who has nothing to say. There's a secret Chinese restaurant in...
The if in Life.
If you can keep your head when all about you Are losing theirs and blaming it on you… There’s an if in life. You can see it right there...
The Bernbach Principle. How Bud Light earned the title of gayest beer in America.
The quote: "A principle isn’t a principle until it costs you money" was originally said by Bill Bernbach. In 1964, after the U.S. Surgeon...
A Place to Sit and Think
I needed a place to sit and think. So, I made a chair. I could have gone to the store, I suppose. But it would have been such a chore....
Wake Me Up Before You Go, Go
You put the boom-boom into my heart You send my soul sky-high When your lovin' starts Jitterbug into my brain (yeah-yeah) Goes a...