Three years ago, if I went through a breakup, it would take me months to recover. I would completely lose myself in the process. I would stop feeling like me, abandon my routines, obsess over the person, replay every conversation, and somehow allow one relationship ending to ruin the quality of my entire life.
After going through a couple of genuinely gruesome breakups that low-key destroyed me, I finally started asking myself better questions. Why was it so difficult for me to let go? Why did I continue feeling emotionally attached to someone even when I logically knew the relationship was over? Why did losing another person always make me lose myself too?
Once I began doing the internal work, I realized most people (including my past self) have been approaching breakups completely wrong.
We treat a breakup like the entire goal is to get over the OTHER person. All of our attention gets pushed outward. We analyze what they are doing, whether they miss us, why they acted the way they did, and whether there is still a chance they might return.
We ask ourselves the wrong questions…
How do I get over them? What if they find someone new? What if they become better for the next person? What if they never regret losing me? What if I never find another connection like this again?
Like genuinely, who the f*ck cares?
The most important question you should be asking yourself is:
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