Creating from the Supreme (versus the bullshit)

Our minds create so many bullshit stories about narratives that will never ever happen. We waste the capacity and time we have for joy by spinning around in all the ways we will be basically fucked by other people discovering we are, well, flawed.

Bulletin. You are largely flawed and so is everyone else.

Once you drop that rock, you can move your attention to self-realization and self-awareness so you can tap into love for yourself which is a much better place to create and operate from than self-loathing and time-wasting doubt.

On any given day, we have way more thoughts about how bad we are than good. Think about it. Do you walk around thinking, I loved the way I just answered that question. I loved how clear I was with my intention with my partner. The evening was so perfect and I loved how incredible I felt in my body and how present I was.

Fuck no.

We are like, should I have eaten that sandwich? My cholesterol is so high, I don’t know why I ate that sandwich. I am so stupid that I forgot to send that email. They probably don’t want to hear from me anyway. I hate how I responded to my daughter, no wonder why she hasn’t texted me back.

Then we become the solvers of all things and we just make them a lot worse because our attention waits for us to put it back where it belongs… on self-love not inner hate.

Into the intuitive divine thoughts that want us whole and happy.

I got on a water bus with my partner last night to go see the 90’s East LA band Los Lobos play on an outdoor park stage (remember La Bambi?) and as the boat pulled away from the dock I said “Tally ho.”

He looked strangely at me because in all the time he has known me, I have never said Tally Ho. In fact, I am learning at 56, a lot of things come out of my mouth that I know that are slowing oozing out from decades prior. Like I was all constricted and since I am loosening up and trusting in who I am, all these parts of me are revealing themselves in fun and funny ways. I know shit I forgot I knew. And because I am in menopause, there is no warning really when it come to the inadvertent knowledge.

When we were on this water bus a year ago, I didn’t utter those words. I said them this year because I am living finally in the moment. I am in my body. I have decided to trust my inner compass and live from a place of open observing and I also am starting to heal from a decade of running, gunning and striving.

On that water bus, in the setting sun, I am not on a frantic search for how to survive which is where I was last summer in the middle of moving in with my partner, with kids in crisis, and me coming out of a health emergency and my book coaching business closing down.

I was not tracking the present, even though I thought I was.

When we are completely and totally self aware, all the parts of us show up to tell us who we are, and it comes out in small little utterances and also beautiful bold sweeping life moves.

I went to a random yoga class today. It wasn’t completely random because I had taken the class about six months before, and I knew he taught yogi principles and did a lot of energy movement. When I took him before, I was removed from the experience, like not tapped in. I remembered getting sweaty and following him on IG but without a ton of smitten intention. Today, it was like the teachings were for me.

He said, “You are either thinking from the Supreme, or you are thinking from everything else.”

That hit me in the solar plexus.

All that other mind trash we think about how bad we are, or how poorly we did, or what is going to get derailed, or what dreams we can’t have, or how hard we have to work to get anything in this fast life that is passing us by… is covering up like a pile of shit the one divine thought which is EVERYTHING.

If I get really still, and live from an open palm receiving place of effortless ease, what I want to create happens without huge expenditures, or glossy marketing teams, or burning the midnight oil. I get so intentional, I sit at my desk and make the one call to realize the Supreme download and I am done. I have time to go into joy. That bike ride.

I left yoga and came home and immediately took notes for my Exhale event in Seattle because I realized the breath I have women do, I am selling them short when I don’t explain that it is tapping into a permission to decline that which doesn’t serve you and make more capacity for what comes from a place of self-love and choice.

I had to bold that phrase because even though I wrote it in my notebook, it’s still such a block, even for me promoting a Delicious lifestyle, I had to re-look at it four times.

Here is how I am declining what doesn’t serve me. When I sit at my desk too long and act like I am in a job in a cubicle in a windowless office, I remember I chose not to live my life that way. I moved to my rooftop deck overlooking the ocean, and worked off my phone in the sun topless for two hours.

Yup, anyone who received any kind of notes on a legal document, or responses to an event or branding, got that email from a very happy in bliss topless woman.

Who gives a fuck?

Who told me I can’t?

Why are there rules? (well we know, uh, societal conditions and judgments and labels on women and the patriarchy)

It made the work I was doing, the emails I was replying to in flow with the energetic open state I was in. We constrict because we think inherently we are bad and we must pay with ruthless diligence. We have to be good girls because we are so bad.

But I can tell you, most of the stuff I am creating these days comes from a download, tapping in, making calls, aligning with people who get me, and getting into action. That leads to renting a hotel room for a day so I can go somewhere neutral and create. Taking a meeting with a woman I met for one hour about my brand because she gets it and I love talking to her.

In fact, if I don’t hear messaging from the divine, I stop. I remember that I said I wasn’t rushing this year to create Delicious Life. Yes, I have filed a trademark (I am not a dum dum) and I have an event in Seattle September 15th which is going to expand the brand, but I am still in a place of receiving and learning. I don’t want to jump the gun. And whenever I think to jump the gun I pause. What is the rush? Why do I think something will be lost? Where is proof there is not abundance?

Because if you ask what this yoga teacher just asked to me to yourself - Who am I? - nothing, I mean nothing, is going to get in the way of you doing your calling.

I am a bit of a spiritual mixed bag. When I say the Supreme, I have a combo pack. I have God, Jesus and Divine Source. My humanity keeps me connected to God, Christianity keeps me rooted in the teachings of Jesus and the Bible, and Divine Source keeps me open to teaching from yoga teachers, Shamans, psychics and astrologers. I also believe we can get better in therapy and psychology, but you fundamentally have to be ready for where you are at, because it can get you only so far from where you are.

So this morning, when I decided to go to this yoga class instead of church, I was operating from a place of no guilt. I go to church often, and then I don’t go to church. If I heard to buy a ticket to this yoga class and go, I go, and then I hear exactly what I need to hear.

Permission to say no.

Permission to make a different choice.

Permission to DECLINE that which doesn’t serve you.

I will give you another example. A friend offered to give me a log in to a membership she has of a high ticket coach who teaches programs. I know all the teachings from becoming a book coach. I have been to the seminars and the conferences. I made a decision in building my new brand Delicious Life to not sign up for that stuff. I knew I needed business development and partners, more than pricey coaching instructions. But I took the log in anyway, thinking, what could it hurt?

What it hurt was going against a strong choice that I don’t need to spend my valuable time having someone tell me what to do when I already know.

I should have said, “Oh that’s so sweet, I appreciate the offer but I am solid in that area.”

Instead, I took the log in and of course it didn’t work, and now I am texting her Sunday about her password, and she is of course confused its not working, and I can feel almost getting annoyed (hard to tell on text). But I tried the next day to see if we could try the log in again, and I got a terse text that said “I can’t do this right now” and I thought, what am I doing? I don’t want to do this ever!!

So I didn’t respond and when I see her again, if she brings it up, I can just say, “It’s all good. I really don’t need a program to help me right now. I was curious if it was easy.”

Effortless ease.

I am not saying bail out on life terms because shit gets hard. Hell, parenting can be hard, but it also can be effortless ease if you allow the issues/problems/joys to come to you instead of trying to predict the future so you know when or where you may have to be uncomfortable.

Why do we know we don’t want to do something but we do it anyway?

Because we like to complicate life so much by the spinning un-ending conversation with our mind, we forget that we can make one choice and stick to it and then be self-aware and listen and make another choice.

Really, all day long it’s like, do I want that or this? Choices. Get quiet and listen.

I was on my roof deck yesterday (not topless) and I was acutely aware of an energy running through my body. It was because I wasn’t in survival mode anymore. Both my kids are getting the help they need and in school and growing and evolving, and my engagement is on point with a wedding in Sept and a honeymoon. My business is growing and there is proof of concept. I am healthy, and happy and sober, and I have a good exercise program. I like where I live and I feel good about it today.

I had to sit there and be okay not filling space that would normally come from that on-the-clock crisis and survival. A long life of survival and dealing with a never ending list of tasks. A life of caretaking kids, and arranging and planning and treading water. A lot of shame and guilt and thoughts like “You made this bed now lay in it.”

I get to be on the other side of that today… knowing more problems could come because we are in all the parts of life always evolving, but I can be a receiver. An observer.

Are you ready to be a curious observer of an easy effortless life? If not, it’s okay. You’ll get there one day if you want a Delicious Life.

I have given up on a publishing schedule for Substack. My Delicious Life newsletter publishes every Tuesday, and I have posts on social and lives on Facebook and all that kind of stuff. So Substack is like my secret place, my messy nonsensical writer place, where I can come and go, and not have calls to action, or quippy tag lines, or have you ooh and ahh over my great teachings (I mean, no where I have that because the Delicious Life is so freaking simple and life-changing its brilliant.)

But I will brag about my new website because it really took a lot of self-trust to say that I am full-time building a movement, and leaping with only a Supreme guidance parachute. I scrubbed almost all existence of my former life as a book coach from my Instagram yesterday in a slightly ass numbing scroll hole state, deleting many many videos talking about how to write books. My old book coaching web site has lapsed and expired. My Linked In name has been changed as has my Facebook page. I mean, it’s a process to become the new you that self-awareness and Supreme has arrived to present to you. You say yes, and believe you have the goods to share with the world, and man, you are in for a treat. A life beyond your wildest dreams.

It’s coming for me. It’s coming for you.

Just give yourself permission, for today, okay?

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