IN THE STONE AND CHATTERING

in the stone and chattering
of the walls which form the confines
of my in-between passage way
i am carried by invisible voices
and feathers that drop in place
the aid of hands that break time
and hurl me into a kind freedom
i was never wrong to fear
for it is a terrifying muscle
to rouse
the one that won’t stop bracing
no place feels safe
in the body that breathes just to stay alive
instead of that which opens
and trusts
oh blessed receiving I recall
and exertion that heaved not
but spun like pirouettes
in the dance of direct sunlight
i sense the magic still
and what is vital must now be in the twitching
of my fingers and the disintegration
of previous selves
violently bargaining for more time
i surrender what envy there remains
for those who seem to have played
and won the game
i know not what they gained
for they do not say
God winks a lot these days
and it’s a cruel joke
sometimes
to be both animal and divine
and yet sense in my blood
i can’t make a home on either side

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