30 years gone by in one shot
I had to cut her off.
It was either her or me.
Toughest goodbye I ever said.
-
Tall, slender, fair.
Translucent eyes, even gray at times.
She flowed wherever she went,
Effortlessly.
Perhaps too effortless.
-
She sought me out from an early age.
Not sure why, I didn’t even have my license.
I just held her in my hand at the mall.
Just us.
Together we escaped.
-
She was of Russian descent.
She told me she lived in Finland for a bit.
Now she’s settled in Austin.
Seemed she wanted to forget the past,
So I never asked.
She helped me forget mine.
-
My friends approved.
They said she made me smile and come to life.
You guys are the life of the party, they said.
We sure burned it down.
They still talk about us.
-
We drove everywhere together.
She loved my motorcycle the most.
Those cool San Diego nights
Freeway to ourselves.
Free way to nowhere.
-
For years we were inseparable.
I didn’t want to lose her.
I was afraid.
I was afraid of being.
I was afraid of being me.
-
There were others
but I always came back to her.
She loved that I was an all-or-nothing guy.
I loved that she never said no.
-
I invited her over every night.
My kids saw us together.
Who is Dad’s mistress?
Why is he with her and not us?
I pretended not to hear their silence.
But the hurt was there.
-
My son started to ask about her.
It was the chain. Generations long.
I had to break it.
I couldn’t change it for myself.
I had to free him.
-
Our last night together, we stayed up late.
The family slept.
Told them I had to work.
She did her best to convince me to stay.
The old songs, the old memories, the tears, the laughs.
-
She emptied her soul to me.
Then I brought her to my lips to say goodbye.
Uncertain if I would see her again.
Uncertain if I could stay apart.
That was a year ago.
-
I still see her around.
I try to play it cool but
I still crave her.
If I called, I know she’d come over.
But I keep my distance.
My son’s dad is sober.
No posts
Comments
Nothing yet. Say the first thing.
Sign in to join the conversation.