In my very early years of mothering, a neighbour and I took weekly walks together.
She was a stay-at-home mum, with three children and a fourth on the way.
I was also a stay-at-home mum, with two children.
When my youngest was about 18 months old, she said, “You’ll be planning the third baby now?”
“No. Not at all.”
Perplexed, she asked, “But what will you do with your time?
“I want to birth other things into the world.”
By the look on her face, I think my response confirmed to her that I was a little odder than she had already assumed.
That was nearly eighteen years ago.
When I think about her question now, I have a different answer.
‘What would I ‘do’ with my time, has shifted in thsi season of my life and work, to how I want to ‘be’ with my time.
Of course, we all have seasons when it is all about the doing, and we do what we need to do in the time we have.
There is a lot of ‘doing’ in any caring responsibilities.
There is a lot of ‘doing’ in our work.
But in the moments when we are not caring and not working, we have the opportunity to ‘be’ with our time.
It’s not that we stop ‘the doing’, but I have found that the more I am able to be, the more attuned and aligned my doing becomes.
When I was a stay-at-home mum if I focused on all the unending domestic chores, such as keeping the house tidy enough, prepping lunches, making dinner, laundry, etc, I rarely felt like there was enough time.
Yet when I made myself accept my children’s invitation to play ( I’ve had to train myself to stop) and switched from doing to being, time seemed to slow down in a good way.
Whether this season of life is a focus on work, children, recovery from illness, mental health challenges, transitions, or a combination of all of these, taking time to exhale and be with our own time serves not only you, but those around you.
‘I have never worked with an incapable woman, but I have worked with capable women who burnt out by doing and being everything for others without regard for themselves or the toll it is taking on them.’ – Grounded Success
Depending on where you are in the world, you may be experiencing winter days, high summer, or all the in-betweens. Either way, I hope you can grant yourself some moments of rest, because who else is going to give it to you?
Our rest does not need to be a full holiday. Carving out pockets of rest during our days or weeks still stretches out time and gives us the opportunity to come back to ourselves.
Not so that we can be more productive, but so that we can be more human.
1. If you were to focus on ‘being’ instead of ‘doing’, what would you gain?
2. Are you waiting for permission to give yourself your own time? If so, from whom?
3. When can you next carve out at least 15 minutes and give yourself, you?
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Speaking of rest, I’m taking a break from this section of The Harvest, and I will be back in your inbox in early August.
I’ll be back in your inbox on July 17 with my ‘Writerley Wanderings’ from Indonesia. In August, you’ll be coming with me to the Northern Territory, as Emrys and I attend the Garma Festival in East Arnhem Land and the Darwin Arts Festival.
The last time I attended the Darwin Arts Festival, I ended up in the Tamini desert for seven days, in community and on country, as an artist’s assistant. Seven days supporting a group of artists, sleeping alone in the gallery every night. An adventure born from a painting and a conversation.
Who knows what adventures will present themselves this time? As I go about my writerly wanderings, words and worlds will wander into your inbox, completely off schedule!
FOUNDING MEMBERS – Dispatches of Delight
Please look out for a separate email with a link to give me your address, so I can post your Dispatch of Delights when the time comes.
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