Unless the Lord builds the house...

Well hello! I didn’t mean to step away from this space for as long as I did, but here we are. Thank you for sticking around!

First things first: My new book, I Know the Feeling releases November 4th! Yay!

I’m very excited about sharing Maddie’s story with all of you! We’re throwing a launch party at The Plot Twist Book Bar in Denton on November 9 at 2 PM. All are invited! It’s a free public event, and I would love to see you there!

I have spoken twice so far this semester, both times over Psalm 90 and what God can do with our days. As so often happens, it turned out that this talk has been especially meaningful for me in this season. We have been in the midst of moving, and my days have felt full of chaos. We weren’t planning or looking to move, but the right house came up, and suddenly it was time to trust.

Sudden change is never my favorite, but God has been kind in all of it, and I am grateful. I’ve felt my limits. They’ve slapped me in the face physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. My Psalm 90 talk is about leaning on God’s strength, and inviting Him into your day. I tell the mamas that when my kids were little, I would wake up in the morning and pray, Lord help me do this day. Ironically, I am right back there now, praying most mornings before I even get out of bed. Lord help me do this day.

Surely we've all heard the tapestry analogy. (God sees the whole tapestry, but we see only part? That one.) I've thought about it lately as God has opened every door and lined up blessing in this unexpected change of address. I find myself so close to the tapestry, all I can see is a single stitch. I am amazed at the kindness of God, AND my special control is twitching. It doesn’t matter how He’s kept us, how GOOD He’s been. Change is not comfortable for me. And there it is: my idolatry of comfort, illuminated in flashing lights and glitter. It's not that I'm not grateful, it's that I didn't plan for this. It’s the reminder that I’m not in control. Some people love that feeling. None of them are oldest children.

It is a comfort that God sees the whole picture and is working and moving for our good and His glory. AND I confess, I've been a little wobbly. What if something happens, and we run out of money? What if the other house doesn’t sell? What if a freeze comes and the pipes break? What if I can’t get everything unpacked before people want to visit? So many fears, every one based on hypotheticals. It's always frustrating to go back to a thing I think I’ve left behind. I thought I had mastered fear. I am fighting it, trying to stay curious and open-handed, and filling in my gratitude list every day. But I want to know. What is God up to? What does the future hold? I want a back-up plan.

So a few weeks ago, I’m wrestling, and suddenly it’s time to go speak about Psalm 90, the prayer MOSES wrote. I get to remind those sweet mamas of the time God parted the sea, and the forty years He gave an ungrateful, grumbly nation enough bread to eat every single day. I stand there and invite them to offer God their day, relying on His strength instead of their own.

I say the words to them, but in my own heart I realize the talk was actually for me all along, that faithfulness in this season probably means letting go of my desire for control. Yikes. That shameful fear creeps in. Do I really trust God? The answer is yes and no. Both and. Ugh. But God is greater than my heart (1 John 3:20). His Spirit reminds me of that scripture where Jesus says to Peter, you follow me. (John 21:22) My job is to follow Him, one day at a time. I decide to obey.

In the goodness of God, He’s met me in this season in more ways than one. I’m reading along with The Bible Recap this year, and we finished the Old Testament a few weeks ago. One thing that stood out to me over and over was the phrase, “…then they will know that I am the LORD.” It is repeated all through the Old Testament. God says it about literally everyone: the Israelites, their children, their enemies, their neighbors. He wants everyone to know, including us. Including me. I need to know that God is the LORD. To remember it. To be reminded of it, often.

God alone is God. I am not. God loves us, but He is not like us. God is good, and He doesn’t owe me an explanation, in feast or famine.

Trusting Him in this season is both easier and harder than I would have thought. I’m not alone. We are praying as a family about the ways He wants us to glorify him in this new home. We are asking Him to help us in a season that looks beautiful and nice, but feels unfamiliar and overwhelming. We are reminding ourselves and each other that God has led us faithfully all these years, and He is leading us now. He is the One building this house. Our labor is not in vain. The truth lifts my gaze. So I praise Him, and I pray, once again, for the strength to hold these hands open and trust Him all the way Home.

Questions for reflection:

1. How has God carried you through different seasons?

2. What is it like for you when things you thought you’d let go of rise up again? What do you notice? Is there a scripture that has helped you grow in this struggle?

Upcoming:

I will be speaking to the mamas at The Fields on November 10 about Prayer.

I’ve booked my first retreat! EEEEE! Decatur Church of Christ is having their ladies’ retreat and I am their speaker. Yay!

Thank you for reading, and all your support. You can find me on Instagram @kelli.a.galyean, and online at www.kelligalyean.com