🍋 Lemonade, pruning, and abiding

Yesterday my kids had a lemonade stand that lasted all of fifteen minutes. They didn’t serve one customer. After setting everything up an internal conflict arose in the company. One member’s shares were threatened. He complained to the FTC and the FTC (aka mom) shut down the company.

It was the life-lesson I thought they would be learning out shilling mediocre lemonade to our retired neighbors.

As they were packing up I (as the official marketing guru) quickly deleted the Facebook post I had posted in our neighborhood page. I had also posted on my personal Facebook page and Chasing Vibrance instagram. My finger hovered over “delete post” Instead I hit “edit post” and added a quick update that we were closed due to “lack of kindness and respect”.

I was frustrated with my kids, but I didn’t post out of frustration–I wanted to be real. Not with anyone else, but with the future version of myself that would look back every June 10th on this memory. I wanted to remember that it wasn’t all roses and sunshine all summer long. That the kids fought. That maybe I could have gone out there and played corporate mediator, but I didn’t have it in me and that was okay.

Another day they can try again. Hopefully remembering to be kinder and more patient with each other.

My post hit a nerve with parents–some remembering the “good ole days” and some living in them–with tired kids that annoy each other (sometimes on purpose) and everything implodes before it even gets going. Quite a few friends commented “You’re a good mom!”

I loved the solidarity and also, for each comment I nodded my head.

“Yup, I am.”

I had a profound lack of shame around my kids having a bad 15 minutes. I know statistically children argue with their siblings 3-6 times per hour, it’s developmentally appropriate. Even if it feels like nails on a chalkboard to me.

I didn’t “lose it” on them. Some stern words for sure. Some calm facts and consequences. A chance to try again another time. I know that their behavior isn’t a reflection of the kind of parent I am–my behavior is.

And I know it at a soul-level that I didn’t five years ago. A previous version of myself would have spiraled hard after an inciting incident like the lemonade stand.

What changed? Well, reading from John 15 this week, I found my answer. In it Jesus says…

“I am the true vine and my Father is the gardener. Every branch in me that does not produce fruit he removes, and he prunes every branch that produces fruit so that it will produce more fruit.” (v1-2)

The past five years I feel like we as a family have gone through endless pruning. We’ve been cut down, way down. At times it felt like we weren’t going to recover.

And yet, here we are–seeing the growth of the Spirit’s fruit from abiding with Jesus and being tended by the Father. Ya’ll we have long-suffering. Because we have suffered long and hard and some whiny kids have nothing on moving, autoimmune disease, three cars dying, bills from an unexpected pregnancy, a dog dying, Stage 4 cancer, 6 months of chemotherapy, and close to a year of being a defacto single parent.

All that hard was doing a work. A work, I pray for the glory of God. And for the good of our family.

This is the gift I’m bringing the daughter that was my “geriatric pregnancy.” I may say “ooof” every time i get up from playing with her on the floor, but she gets the seasoned mom, who has walked longer and darker paths with Jesus and come out the other side, limping AND rejoicing.

I know better than to pin my “good or bad” days on the amygdalas of 10-year-olds.

My hope is Jesus. My posture is abiding (yes, even when the kids are “being ratchet” and I”m annoyed).

“Help it Jesus” is my prayer for mean drivers, sassy attitudes, and bickering kids.

That doesn’t mean I’m always thrilled with how my day goes. But I am settled. Who I am as a daughter of Christ is settled–so who I am as a mother is settled.

Loved.

Chosen.

Crowned.

Free.

Forgiven.

Empowered.

“As the Father has loved me, I have also loved you. Remain in my love…Love one another as I have loved you.” -John 15:9,12

In the core memory days and the less-than-stellar ones–God’s love holds us steady. It’s the place we can always come back to, where we are known and loved without hesitation. We always get second chances (and third and fourth) as God’s beloved children.

We get to reopen for business–with lessons learned and grace refreshed–ready to pour again, serve again, relentlessly love and be loved again.

🩷 Basil Ginger Lemonade — If you’re looking for an non-mediocre lemonade this is one of my favorite twists on the classic! And you can make it with homemade or premade lemonade.

🩷 Life, Death, and Giants — This book STAYED with me. A story of a larger-than-life boy who is raised by his Amish grandparents. I loved the different perspectives on one remarkable life. My favorite perspective was the Amish Grandmother’s.

🩷 Light sweater — You know those days where it’s warm outside, but the AC is chilly? This sweater is perfect for then.

🩷 Blackstone Gridle — Picked up this model on Facebook marketplace and we’ve enjoyed lots of yummy dinners on it these past couple weeks! Grilled chicken is probably my favorite! Also this seasoning on smash burgers is fire!

🩷 Short, Encouraging Bible Verses for Moms of Littles — Save these S.O.S. Bible verses for a cancelled lemonade stand day.

✨Keep chasing vibrance,

Katie