Receipt from the Bookshop #155

Ahoy! Hello! I am back! I have returned! I am sorry I surprised you with a day off last week, but I’m glad that so many of you shared your current reads, what a shopping list we’ve ended up with! Actually, while I’ve been off this week I’ve managed to order about… 15 books to the shop for myself. Oops. I can’t buy them all today, I’ll have to be “selective” (just staggering them over a few weeks, tbh). Now I just have to find out how many of them Business Mum has incorrectly put out on the shop floor instead of squirrelling them away onto my private orders shelf. Oh, it’s already full? Oh, ok.

Sun’s shining today, temperature has dropped to a very refreshing 16 degrees, this means I can wear a shacket! Thank god. I really do feel underdressed without a second layer. And, speaking of returning to one’s natural existence, apparently we might have a special guest star later this afternoon - some rain! Let’s see if we’re showered with sporadic customers today, or drenched in loneliness and shame… only joking I love it here.

First browsers are a mother and (grown-up) daughter who fall in love with the Deluxe Painted Classics - “Mum, come and have a look at these - you’re about to have a moment”. The daughter wants them all, but hasn’t yet been paid this month and decides that two painted paperbacks are more important than food, and she’ll just go without dinners if she can have these editions of Jane Eyre and Little Women.

“You don’t buy food anyway,” says her Mum, “you just come round and eat ours.”

“Fair,” says the daughter.

“Smart,” says I.

Two people walk purposefully towards the door of the bookshop and then decide against entering at the very last moment. This movement always absolutely fascinates me: what sort of shop did you think it was when you were going to come in?!

Wife: I’m just going in this bookshop.
Husband: I’ll wait outside.

I’ve had a postcard! From YOSEMITE NATIONAL PARK!! What a thrill!

Look at the stamp!

I have never been to Yosemite. I would love to. That is such a long way for me to shout thank you, but I am, hands cupped around the mouth in case that does anything. THANK YOU, NITA.

A man comes into the bookshop to look for a wife. I am the only one here, and I am already someone else’s wife.

Speaking of which, The Very Capable Husband arrives with the Bookwormlet who is STILL on Summer hols. They are here to collect Pokémon; apparently the bookshop is ‘Dinomax Gym’!?

The man who was looking for the wife has come back with one. She’s here to collect a book. It’s a very handsome edition of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. I get a sale. She gets her book. He’s got her. We’re all happy.

A lady is browsing the shop systematically. She’s only on the first bookcase but has already got two books in her hand. “This is bad news,” she says, catching my eye.

The Bookwormlet comes running through from the children’s area. “There’s a new colouring book and it’s so cute and there are TWO of the same ones.” As a shop, we stock single copies of everything (except the ones written by me) so this means BM has ordered one for the shelf, and one of the Bookwormlet, just in case she sees it, shrieks about how cute it is, and demands to take it home. As it has just been her birthday, she has some spends, so she can buy the colouring book. Look it even has a picture of me in it.

The systematic lady turns out to be very good news indeed. She buys a huge stack of books including a Celia Fremlin, Elspeth Barker, Pat Barker and the latest Daniel Mason. I thank her for taking the time to explore all of the stock so carefully, and making such great selections. and she says “You’ve been very clever - mixing all the books up - it means I’ve had to look at all of them instead of just going to a category I think I might like.”

Ah yes, my cunning plan to have an absolutely chaotic bookshop is paying off.

VCH returns from the supermarket (Bookwormlet stayed with me) and says “Who bought the Vitra book?” Goddammit. The Vitra book was a secret for his birthday, and I hadn’t realised it was sitting face out on the customer order shelf when he arrived, but noticed it while he was out getting lunch and quickly hid in the office. Of course he had already clocked it. Annoying Observant Very Capable Husband.

A couple come in and the chap says “there was a book here the other week with a horse on the cover” and I say “Whistler by Ann Patchett!” and feel relieved I managed to look vaguely competent when they reveal themselves to be readers of this newsletter (Hello J+K).

A man in a hat comes in and puts a large bag on the desk before he starts rummaging around in it. The bag is made of fabric covered in Elvis faces. I was worried that the man was going ask if we’d stock 30 copies of his novel, but if it’s about Elvis, maybe I will. “I was hoping you’d be able to order a book for me.” Ok, I can do that too. He finds a magazine and shows me a page with an advert for a self-published specialist cookery book. The image shows a small photograph of the author, holding the book, and no where else on the full page advert does it say the name of the author, or the name of the book. Luckily, I can just about make out the information I need, it being broad daylight and me being the sort of person who can read the lowest line at the optician, even though they say that’s the bonus one. Anyway, the book isn’t currently in stock at my wholesalers, so the man says he’ll leave it, and off he goes with his unexpected Elvis bag.

Trumpet Man is playing today. I’ve seen him strolling around in a t-shirt, bare arms and brass instrument in hand. One day I will ask him, how do you know which days are trumpet days because all of the other days he’s just walking around like a regular person who doesn’t sometimes take a trumpet for a walk.

BM popped in on her way home and I told her which of my books she’d accidentally put out for sale (Benjamin Labutat’s The Maniac).

A man on crutches, wearing the most astonishing t-shirt - imagine a photograph of a lion, but bigger than a t-shirt, so the whole garment is up-close lion skin - with smart black trousers and smart black polished shoes, comes into the shop. He looks around.
“Are these all new books?”
“Yes.” I say.
“Thanks anyway,” he says, on his way out. On his back there’s a giant lion’s paw.

Made a cup of tea and immediately burned my tongue on it. Had my Mint Club to cool it down.

Lovely book post here sent to me by KB at Quercus - thank you so much! This is Nice Things All the Time by Nancy Tucker, which won’t be out until May next year but one to note down now because I LOVE the author letter that came with it that says

‘I have been asked what I think makes this novel topical and important, and, in truth, I’m not sure it is either.’

YES, Nancy! She goes on to say that she believes it is entertaining to the point of riotous and amusing to the point of hilarious. Go on, Nancy! What a breath of fresh air.

“This looks like a bookshop.”

A man tells me that he bought my book but hasn’t had a chance to read it yet because when he got it home, his wife commandeered it! I am honoured.

A few minutes before I cash up, a lady comes in and says ‘Are you Katie?” and I admit that I am and she says she is reading my book at the moment. She is up to May. She has read about the trumpet man in the book, and today she has seen him with her own eyes! And now she has seen me too.

Time to go home! Time for the weekend to begin! If you enjoyed the weekend reads thread in the comments last week, I’ll be hosting it back in my usual Chat here tomorrow. Was this a short entry? I have no idea. The takings turned out ok so it can’t have been that quiet, but there were a few customers I didn’t write about - sometimes I just miss the moment and then, when I realise I’m trying to recall the transaction, even twenty minutes later, it feels so ludicrous, to write it down here for you. He said this, I said this, insert thing about tea. I can really only trick myself into writing the entry if I do it while the conversation is still lingering in the air above our heads like Schultz speech bubbles with heavy black outlines around them so I can still see them to transcribe. If they’ve already started fading into memories it doesn’t feel the same. Sometimes, I even start writing them when the customer is still on the premises, alt-tabbing between screens if they come back into my eyeline. (It’s the DRAMA, Mick!) Have a great weekend everyone. See you soon.

US/Canada pre-order Receipts from the Bookshop here.
UK Receipts from the Bookshop here.