It’s been some weeks since I published the final chapter of Bless the Daughters: An Examination into the Mother Wound, Inherited Pain, and the Legacies that Shape our Lives.
In the wake of its ending, I have felt a bittersweet ambivalence. With each chapter published, I gained new readers, new followers, and new community who lifted me, encouraged me, and walked alongside me, sharing my journey as their own. There are no words to articulate how special that has been to me.
On the other hand, there has been a sense of relief in having one less thing in my life at this time, knowing I have been juggling too many balls in the air for too long now—doing my best to not let them fall but knowing inevitably, something always has to give, eventually.
I want to say an enormous thank you to everyone who has read, subscribed, and supported my work here, whether financially or otherwise. I’m indebted to each and every one of you. Initially, I had planned to finish Bless the Daughters and launch straight into the next thing—not because I essentially wanted to, or felt I had the capacity to, but because I felt a need to justify my existence in this little corner of the internet, and to not disappoint those who had signed up as paid subscribers.
However, after much thought, I have concluded what I need most is some time away from social media—to step back from writing for an audience or a readership, and to simply write for myself again and let new ideas and creations and directions flow. It’s the old adage of not being able to pour from an empty cup: as much as I absolutely adore Substack, it’s still social media. It still requires me to give, to hustle, to compete, to strive, to have to work to be seen and heard over the millions of other people here doing the same.
And the thing is, I’ve been writing on social media for over a decade. And I’m tired. And I’m ready to stop giving so much of myself. To instead, imbibe in this thing called life. I want to drink in books and poetry and music and nature and sunsets and people and laughter.
I want real-life connections again—to put down my phone, to switch off my computer, to gaze at the world around me and take it all in and allow that to be my inspiration. I want to sit with a notebook and pen, and daydream and imagine and create whatever my soul desires, not what an algorithm desires. I want to rest and recoup and heal and know wholeness and fullness until every inch of my cup is filled to overflowing with creativity again.
And then, maybe then, I’ll find my way back. To me. To you.
In the meantime, I have paused all paid subscriptions until further notice. Should there come a time I find my way back here, I’ll un-pause subscriptions and allow you to decide if you’d like to continue financially supporting my work. In the meantime, thank you again—you’ve no idea the ways you have kept me afloat throughout a difficult year.
Until next time,
Kathy x
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