Scammer’s Prayer

Text within this block will maintain its original spacing when published

Bless the cheaters; bless the scammers;
bless the frauds down on their luck.
Bless the thieves and all flim-flammers:
We’re just trying to make a buck.
Bless the con-men and the takers:
Give and gladly we’ll receive.
Bless the blusterers and fakers:
Grant us, maybe, a reprieve.
We are charlatans and shysters
taking you for all you’re worth,
wise as serpents.  Lord, be wiser
or we’ll take the whole damn earth.
We’ll get all that isn’t nailed down,
steal the shirt right off your back,
but we pray you’ll get us bailed out
when the devil’s on our track.
Oh, for there were thieves beside you
when you hung on Calvary;
one believed and one denied you.
We don’t know which ones we’ll be.
We are gamblers; we are bettors,
but we’d rather hedge our bets.
As you said, “Forgive your debtors,”
Lord, forgive us all our debts.
Though our hope’s in dice and card games,
though we daily rob you blind,
do not leave us to the darkness:
Oh, be merciful; be kind.
Let us feast at your great table
like a Vegas-strip buffet.
Lord, be generous—you’re able.
Bring us in and let us stay.  Amen.