I sometimes catch myself thinking that I never chose any of this.
I’d be perfectly happy living my ordinary, occasionally boring life. Complaining about work, planning vacations months in advance, worrying about whether I’ll finally repaint the kitchen this year. History didn’t have to happen around me.
But then I remember something I once read about reincarnation.
According to some Eastern beliefs, our souls choose the experiences they need before they’re born. I don’t know whether that’s actually true. I’m not even a particularly religious person. But something about that idea settled inside me years ago and refused to leave.
Maybe my soul really did choose to be here. Maybe it didn’t. What matters is that thinking this way changed something in me.
Instead of seeing life as something unfair that kept happening to me, I started seeing it as a game.
Not the kind where you always win.
The kind with different levels, unexpected side quests, achievements, mistakes, bonus points, and monsters you never wanted to fight in the first place.
Sometimes I choose what turns out to be the right path and never get to know what the others might have offered. Sometimes I take what feels like the wrong turn, only to discover it comes with the most interesting characters, unexpected skills, and bonus chapters.
Thinking this way quietly replaced one question with another.
Instead of asking, “Why is this happening to me?” I started asking, “What can I possibly take away from this?”
It didn’t make life easier.
It just made me feel less powerless.
And if I manage to learn something along the way, maybe one day I’ll be able to pass it on to someone else who’s standing where I once stood.
Whether or not souls really keep a bucket list of lessons suddenly became less important than the fact that I finally had a way to keep moving.
Because even if I didn’t consciously choose the game itself, I still get to choose how I play it.
I can spend my time fighting monsters. Or growing flowers. I can befriend strange creatures, build a little community, host potluck dinners, write essays, teach English, adopt a stray cat.
There are always choices.
Even in circumstances I never would have picked for myself.
And even if none of us actually “wins” this game in the end, I’d still rather enjoy playing it than spend the whole time staring at the loading screen.
Besides, saying “I’m on Level 30” sounds much cooler than saying “I’m 30 years old.” 😎
So, back to the title.
If my avatar appeared in this particular version of the game, what do I do now?
Run away?
Join the military?
Become a volunteer and dedicate my life to helping others?
There are countless possible paths, and I don’t think any of them are universally right or wrong.
As strange as it sounds, one of the things I’ve chosen is... doing the laundry.
Not because laundry matters more than history.
Quite the opposite.
History has a way of convincing you that ordinary life no longer deserves your attention. That folding towels, watering flowers, vacuuming the floor, or hanging freshly washed shirts outside somehow became insignificant.
But those tiny rituals are exactly what remind me that life is still happening.
The washing machine hums while the news reports another attack.
I fold warm clothes while checking whether my loved ones have replied to my messages.
I water flowers that have absolutely no idea what country they’re growing in.
Somehow, these ordinary chores keep me grounded. They remind me that my life is still more than headlines, statistics, and air raid alerts.
I know how lucky I am to even have that choice.
I’m lucky enough to live in the twenty-first century, where I can share these thoughts with people thousands of miles away.
And as strange as it may sound, I’m lucky enough to live in Ukraine.
Not because I enjoy living through war.
Not because I’d ever choose these circumstances.
But because my country refused to kneel.
Because for more than four years we’ve been standing up to one of the biggest bullies in the world.
Because even in the middle of history, people here still plant gardens, bake bread, celebrate birthdays, fall in love, do the laundry, and keep living.
I don’t get to choose the setting of this game.
I don’t get to skip difficult levels.
But I do get to choose what kind of player I want to be.
And for now, that means doing the laundry... and then getting back to living.
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