Stop Asking Other People If You're Good Enough

We waste years of our lives seeking validation to feel worthy of ourselves.

And it’s not your fault. You were trained to outsource your self-worth.

First it was parents. They have a good heart. Good intentions too. But they have a big ego. Always telling us “we know better”. Then, the teachers. Don’t even get me started on that. Training us really well for the final villain. The boss.

This “home-school-job” training program later became the very patterns that take control over our lives.

You come up with a ridiculously good idea. Maybe for a book. It could become the next New York Times bestseller. Or a business idea. A brilliant product that could change people’s lives and give you sacks full of dollars. And the very next thing that comes to your mind… “is it good enough???”

That tiny little doubt creates fear. Fear becomes overthinking. Overthinking becomes resistance. Resistance becomes procrastination. Procrastination becomes years. Years and years of regret. Now you’re 82 and thinking “I could’ve been so much more”.

Remember those videos where YouTubers ask old people on streets “What your biggest regret in life?” You know what most of them say? I wish I hadn’t doubted myself and started early.

This “self-doubt” is the very thing that is standing between you and the life of your dreams. And this self-doubt comes from a lack of self-worth.

It destroys your confidence. You stop trusting your intuition and become dependent on other people’s judgement to know what’s good. Even the tiny things. Like spending hours reading film reviews on Reddit or Rotten Tomatoes before deciding to watch it. To hell with the reviews. Go watch it. Decide yourself. Why waste time? (I used to do it too. I’m not perfect. But I’ve stopped).

Same thing with relationships. You keep pleasing the other person. Keep questioning where you stand. Do they still love me? Am I doing enough? Keep saying yes, when you want to say no. Keep giving even when you’re empty. What about you? Nobody asks how you feel. Aren’t you worthy of love?

You are talented. Maybe you have a unique gift. A painter, a writer, a designer, an actor. But you sabotage your potential. Before you even start, you start doubting yourself. What if it fails? What if I embarrass myself? You’re so focused on failing that you never think… just maybe, maybe what if it works out. But those self-limiting unconscious patterns won’t let you think positive. Like fucking ever.

Let me tell you this. And I’m someone who doubted myself for years. Write it on paper, screenshot it, tattoo it, but just never forget this: You are worthy just the way you are.

What makes you unique is you. Just being fully you. The way you naturally are. The way you speak. The way you dress. The way you care for people. The way you express your thoughts. Your unique perspective on life. The way you see the world. The way you love someone. Your idiosyncrasies. Your taste in music. Movies. Books.

Nobody can be you. Only you can be you. That’s the very definition of unique.

But we copy others. You do it out of fear. Fear of what if I’m not good enough. What if people reject me? So you betray your own soul and take the safe path. The rotten, stinking path of other people.

And then, you cry yourself to sleep thinking “why do I feel like shit?”

Because you betrayed yourself. Your real authentic self. The self that could take you to the heights of success. The self that could help you meet the love of your life. The self that could help you build a life that feels like a big, long vacation.

You’re worthy just the way you are. You don’t have to change yourself. You don’t have to shrink yourself. You don’t need anybody’s validation to justify your worth. Stop sabotaging your own genius. You don’t need anybody’s permission to live your life.

All you need is some trust in who you already are. Your values. Your beliefs. Your thoughts. Your actions.

And your heart…

– Karun

If you felt this, my book ‘Born to Stand Out’ will feel like coming home to yourself :)
Get it Here (or the paperback version Here ).