Joy as Evidence

As I watched Moroccans from across the diaspora and more specifically in Astoria, Queens celebrating after losing their FIFA World Cup match against France, I learned a profound lesson about joy. Joy is not the reward for belonging. Joy is the evidence of belonging.

When people experience genuine belonging, joy naturally follows. Not because life suddenly becomes easy. Not because conflict disappears. Not because every challenge has been resolved. But because human beings were created to flourish in connection. Joy and belonging are deeply intertwined because they answer one of our oldest human questions: “Do I matter here?“

Every single person who walks through the doors of a school asks this question, whether they say it aloud or not. The students ask it; teachers ask it; custodians ask it; parents ask it; and school leaders ask it.

Sometimes the question is spoken through words. More often, it is asked through behavior. Will anyone notice if I am absent? Can I disagree without being rejected? Can I bring my full self into this community? Will my ideas be valued? Will someone celebrate my success without feeling threatened by it? Will someone stay with me when I fail?

Belonging is the answer we give to those questions. True belonging cannot be manufactured. It isn’t created by slogans or posters hanging in the hallway. It is created by people who make one another feel seen through intentional, daily actions: sustained eye contact, radical curiosity, open invitations and intentional repair after conflict. Belonging happens through consistent, quiet acts of respect.

That is why authentic joy cannot be scheduled into a school improvement plan or mandated through staff morale activities. People instinctively know the difference between authentic joy and forced positivity. They know when they are being asked to smile while carrying impossible burdens. They know when celebration is being used to distract from systemic exhaustion.

As leaders, educators, and human beings, our design challenge isn’t to force the smile—it is to build the connection. When we design environments where people truly matter, the joy will take care of itself.

For reflection: Think about your own community or school environment. What is one micro-interaction you can practice this week—whether through curiosity, eye contact, or an invitation—to answer someone’s silent question: “Do I matter here?”