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Nextdoor · Aug 11, 2026

How to Make Someone Defend You Against Their Own Best Interests

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Justthatguynextdoor · Nextdoor

The psychology of the loyalty inversion, the mechanics that turn victims into advocates, and the dark architecture that makes a person argue for the very thing that harms them.

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There is a strange and unsettling phenomenon that occurs in toxic relationships, cults, and dysfunctional organizations.

The victim does not just tolerate mistreatment. They defend it. They argue for it. They attack anyone who suggests they deserve better. They become the abuser’s most vocal advocate, even as the relationship drains them dry.

I have watch…

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