The Leftovers

“What if you applied your best creativity towards your family too?”

His counsel felt more like a knife cut.

I squirmed in his comfy couch, squirming long enough to compose a response to his cloaked-in-kindness soul dagger.

But there was none. He was right. I’d spent damn near all of our 50 minutes talking about building a business.

His sideswipe slapped me back to why I came to see him. I needed help. My focus, energy, and effort were all over the damn place. I was diluted and depleted. We were a couple years into the stormy seas of small business ownership, and somehow, in the process, I’d lost sight of why I’d set sail.

He didn’t have to prescribe the answer to me, his question did the recalibration. After the defenses swirled and moved through, I breathed in, breathed out, and said, “You’re right. They don’t get those parts of me right now. They’re getting the leftovers.”

It wasn’t a magic bullet moment, and all these years later, I remain in need of this reminder. The reason, in fact, why I write.

Maybe some of you who are building a business or career can relate, but isn’t it easy, and sometimes even intoxicating, to give your all to the thing you started to benefit the people who end up getting very little of you.

Your attention. Your presence. Your energy. Your gifts. Your creativity. Your best.

“Yeah, but…” is the typical next defended phrase that springs up when I encounter this discomfort.

Yes, and is a much more helpful approach.

Yes, it requires a shit-ton of rocket fuel to build a thing. And, it’s all for nothing if you lose sight of why and who.

Yes, there are seasons of sacrifice. And, it’s important to bring trusted friends into your life who sense when season becomes an excuse.

Yes, it’s important to work your butt off. And, it’s equally as important to fight for the freedom with your family.

Yes, work is a real responsibility. And the greater gift is relationship.

Both can be true.

Yet, it seems like those of us who are bringing businesses to life tend to get distracted and delusional into believing the work side of this coin is more worthy of our highest spark.

The paradox I’m learning - the work sparks burn a lot brighter when I’m not feeding my family leftovers.

Thanks, Counselor.