This is an experiment, to do something that does not have a "productive" goal, and has nothing to do with making money. I am trying this, doing this, because...
This next 50, ha ha it's absurd actually. But it has a much better ring than this next 37 or something like that :) What will it be like? What will you make of it? What do you want it to be? More being present. More immediacy to life. More appreciation of everything. More awareness of everything, of the moments passing by. More peace. More quiet moments. More health. More new experiences. More…
Progress has been made. I have a clear and specific plan for maintaining, and hopefully increasing, revenue. No jumping around, no new plans every week, no erratic behaviour. The execution of the current plan, giving it a chance, a proper chance to produce results. And now this is a very important thing. It is my hope that by having my work composed of the execution of my plan, that I prevent…
I know the deal. I know it all too well. And I know how to get out of it. If I do not face the vacay prep head on, then I will find myself scrambling at the last minute. I would be unprepared, frustrated and kicking myself for wasting all of the time that I had, because in fact I do have a lot of time to prepare. It's just that I am so very tired of doing chores, things that I have to do, that I…
Some words now to describe how I feel: tired, discouraged, demotivated, trapped, joyless, hopeless, sorrowful, depressed. I feel like a total failure. I feel that I am so very far behind. I feel like I am slowly failing. Everything feels so very dark and hopeless. My work feels like a burden. I feel so inauthentic in the way that I am living my life. The vacay feels like a burden.
8:24 am. Thursday 6th August. This morning I am giving myself some space. I can do so because I have worked really hard and been very intentional with designing my life in a certain way. So I deserve it. Yesterday I think I had a bit of a meltdown, and probably a panic attack. This morning I am still feeling some of the side effects of it. My mind is very scattered, and focusing feels like a…
Who do you want to be? What are the words that represent it? Maybe these ... Leader Courageous Confidence Adventurer Initiator Instigator Risk-Taker Disruptor Original-Thinker Experimenter Beauty Wonder Inspiration Freedom Fearless Discipline Consistent Persistent Dedication
Something is changing in me. I am noticing it. I am gradually seeing things more and more for what they truly are. I think that I am gradually pushing through my illusions. Case in point. I am letting go of some of the fear of not having enough. This trip is expensive, and it is uncomfortable as to how expensive it is. But not as much as before. I have to make another adjustment that will cost…
A few days ago I was browsing Netflix shows and came across a series that suited me. What was most appealing about it was that each episode was under 30 mins, more like an average of 23 mins. For me this is ideal as it fits in nicely when I am taking a break from work, or just relaxing a bit. I have watched about 5 episodes so far and I must say that I am thoroughly enjoying it. I really like the…
Sometimes it feels like it has all been said before. Maybe it has. But maybe it's still important to say it anyways. The repetition may very well be worth it. It still all feels like I am perpetually trying to play catch-up. I am in this enviable position where I have almost complete control of my time. I can choose what to focus on, and ignore, to a large extent. Yet it feels like I almost do not…
I feel the fear again, but it is completely understandable. No reason for feeling guilty about the fear. After all, I have practiced being this way for decades. It's not going to go away just like that, probably not going to go away at all. The important thing right now is to see it, and I have seen it. I put down too many things to do today. I packed the day. Even though I went to the gym, I did…