When Gifted and Distractible Means Lonely in a Crowd

I recently had the opportunity to speak at ADHD Women’s Palooza on a topic that feels deeply important to me: loneliness in the gifted and distractible population. My session was part of the 2026 event hosted by Linda Roggli, creator of the ADHD Palooza series, and although it was the “Women’s Palooza,” what we talked about is relevant to all gifted and distractible people. Linda is a Professional Certified Coach, an award-winning author, and the founder of the A-D-Diva Network (and Linda herself is an A-D-Diva!). Her work has helped so many women better understand ADHD, especially in midlife and beyond.

If you want to watch the full session — and I really think you should — you can access it through the ADHD Women’s Palooza Encore. The Encore gives you permanent access to all sessions from the 2026 event. Find it here at adhdpalooza.com.

I’ve pulled out four clips from our conversation that I think capture the heart of what we discussed. Below each video, I’ve added some context and reflection so you can go deeper. Let’s start with the foundation: what does “gifted” actually mean?

Most people hear the word “gifted” and think one thing: smart. And yes, that’s part of it — but it’s a thin layer of frosting on a much richer cake. I mean that literally.

I developed what I call the Three-Layer-Gifted Cake™ to help people understand the full picture of giftedness.

“Overexcitability” is a research term — coined by Polish psychologist Kazimierz Dąbrowski — that honestly should have been translated as super-stimulability. More accurate, more fun to say. It refers to the fact that gifted people experience the world with greater neurological intensity. You can’t dial it up or dial it down at will. It just is.

For many people, this framework helps explain why they seem to feel “too much” for so long; too sensitive, too deep, too intense, too aware. But often, those very traits are not deficits. They are ways to relate to your world organically and meaningfully.