How to cope with rejection

I’ve been published now for twenty years, had many books conventionally published in that time, but also had many rejections. Some doors have just not opened.

What do you do when you have something you created rejected? It’s going to happen if you stick around in publishing, even if your first book is a bestseller. There will be a brighter, younger star coming in behind you.

I checked out the Brainy Quotes on this so you don’t have to. When you look at the advice on rejections it falls into two camps.

Camp 1 - the Stoics who endure - say it’s in the DNA of the publishing industry but it’s painful. It feels like you are being rejected, not just the book you’ve written. But a successful writer is the one who picks themselves up and tries, and tries again, until they succeed.

Camp 2 - the Cynics in classical terms - say actively embrace rejection, use it as the petrol in your tank, the challenge that you enjoy overcoming. Rejection isn’t final but something that can be changed or renegotiated.

Which of those appeals to you is largely a question of character, or the frame of mind you are in when you get the email. Like grieving, you can pass from Camp 1 to Camp 2 (or vice versa).

But perhaps my own conclusions might help as the email drops into the inbox:

1. Remember it isn’t about you. Expect rejection even while hoping for success. I find it helps to imagine myself into an editorial meeting where many books are being pitched. The decisions are made on commercial terms, not personal ones. So I’d advise that you can be emotional and fragile when writing the book, but think of yourself as a business person when pitching. I guess it is a version of getting a bit tougher or developing perspective on what a rejection really means: they don’t think they can make money out of your book.

2. What is the market doing at the moment? Keep an eye on where the winds are blowing. Are you selling umbrellas in sunshine, or (hopefully) is there a rainstorm about to break? That said, don’t be a tornado chaser - i.e. chasing a trend that’s already twisting, but look to see if the market is getting ready for the book you’ve written. Many successes can’t be predicted but sometimes you can see where things might go next - it is your creative instinct that should be listening out to the wider culture here. Watch what agents and editors are open to for queries.

3. Keep on keeping on - but not in the gritty Stoic way. Make sure writing brings you joy. I was listening to the Scriptnotes podcast today and John August, the brilliant screenwriter, said (as if everyone agreed) that the actual writing was horrible and difficult. I don’t find that at all. The act of writing is what I want to get to each day. I love it. I can disappear into it. Don’t carry on trying if it feels like putting yourself through a root canal treatment. Write something new that you fall in love with all over again.

This all boils down to: Rejection happens, so be grown-up about it and don’t take it personally. Love what you do for its own sake.

If you’d like to support my career as a writer, please do look out for my books wherever you get yours from.

The Diamond of Drury Lane has just been reissued as a modern classic, so you could start there.