Our Low-Key, No-Pressure Potty Learning Diaries

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I originally planned to write this as a day-by-day potty-learning diary. I even took detailed notes on my phone for the first week. I really thought this might be one of those tidy “potty trained in three days” stories.

’Twas not. 😂

We officially started around 23 months, and it took about 4 weeks before she was consistently making it through the day without accidents. There were days of major progress and days when she wanted absolutely nothing to do with the potty.

I’m sharing our experience because I wish I had known that potty learning could click, unclick, and then click again. If your child isn’t completely done with diapers after three days, it doesn’t mean either of you is doing anything wrong.

From what I’ve since heard from other parents, three days is rarely the entire story, especially when your little one is on the younger side.

I didn’t follow a specific method, buy a course, or spend hours googling what to do. I asked my mom friends, talked to my own mom, tuned in to my daughter’s readiness signs, and figured it out as we went.

Starting around 23 months was ultimately Keira’s decision. A few signs told us she was interested:

• She kept asking to read books about the potty. (I’m sharing our favorites and the tools we used below!)

• She had been consistently telling me when she peed or pooped for months.

• She enjoyed sitting on her little potty while we used the bathroom. We kept it in our commode room since 9 months old, so she was already very aware of what it’s for / had used it before off and on.

• Her diapers were consistently dry in the morning. I didn’t expect that to happen until much later, and it certainly isn’t a requirement… but it was one of her signs.

• She started resisting wearing diapers.

The day after our going-away party, she refused to put on a diaper. I was tired of chasing her around with it, so I just said… You know what? Let’s just be naked today and see what happens.

And so we began…

The internet recommends going all in: once the diaper comes off, it never comes back because “that might confuse them.”

But all-or-nothing thinking just doesn’t work well for me.

I didn’t want to hunker down at home for days or cancel our plans, so we let her be bare-bottomed at home and used our HealthyBaby pull-up style diapers when we went out. Having them as a backup gave us the flexibility to keep living our lives while she learned at her own pace.

Our progression looked like this:

• Bare-bottomed at home: This helped her connect the feeling of needing to pee with what her body was doing.

• Loose pants without underwear: Once she understood the potty while naked, we added easy-to-pull-down pants.

• Underwear: We saved undies for last because they initially felt too much like a diaper and confused her.

There was no rush to “graduate” from one stage to the next.

The first couple of days involved lots of accidents. I cannot even tell you how many times I cleaned pee off her toddler tower.

Then, it clicked… or so I thought! For the next few days, she started running to the potty and using it by herself with hardly any issues.

During week two, it was as though she had never seen a potty before. She resisted sitting on it and wanted nothing to do with it. This kind of backtracking is very normal (but I didn’t know this at the time until I asked my mom friend while out on a walk).

Then we went out of town. We brought the potty, offered it casually, and continued using diapers when they made sense. I didn’t want travel or a change our routine to turn potty learning into something stressful.

When we came home, it clicked again. And this time, it stuck!

For the first couple of weeks, she resisted peeing before we left the house. I would say, “It’s time to go potty,” and she would refuse to sit down. I didn’t want it to become a battle, so we used a diaper for outings or placed a puppy pad on her car seat and stroller as backup.

Eventually, she became comfortable going before we left. Now our loose outing rhythm looks like this:

• Potty before leaving the house

• Potty when we arrive if the drive is longer than 30–40 minutes

• Potty after eating if we stop for a meal

• Potty before getting back into the car

I try not to ask, “Do you need to go potty?” because the answer is almost always no. Instead, I casually bring her into the bathroom saying, “it’s a good idea to pee before we get back in the car.”

My aunt gave us two small-sized BabyBjorn potties that she no longer needed, so one stays in the car. I put it inside a tote bag at the bottom of the stroller, carry it into the public bathroom, and set it down inside the stall.

It has made outings much easier because she still doesn’t feel comfortable sitting on the big toilet, even with the smaller seat attachment.

Around 22 months, before we officially started potty learning, she stopped wetting her diaper overnight. That was one of the signs that made me think she might be ready.

This especially surprised me because she still nurses throughout the night. I still worry she is holding it too long… because even I get up to pee at night.

A few things helped us for nighttime transition:

• We keep a little potty in the bedroom.

• I would put a HealthyBaby pull-up style diaper over her pajamas after she had already fallen asleep. That way, she could fall asleep without it while still having a little backup overnight.

• Some nights, if she seemed to be tossing and turning a lot, I would pick her up and put her on the potty in our room for a “dream pee”. That way she will sleep more soundly.

  

She has now been compleeetely diaper-free day and night for going four weeks straight. On outings, in the car, at home — we’re fully out of diapers!!

HealthyBaby was the first brand of diapers I purchased before my daughter was born, and now they’ve officially been our last diapers too. A very full-circle moment over here! Thanks again to HealthyBaby for sponsoring today’s post! Use code “Jules-HealthyBaby” for 10% off for first-time customers.

Our next step is helping her transition from the little potty to the big potty using a toddler seat attachment. Mostly, I would love to stop lugging an entire potty into every public bathroom.

Four weeks isn’t as catchy as three days, but it’s our real timeline. And now, on the other side, I’m glad we gave ourselves the flexibility to practice, pause, use diapers when they supported us, and keep living our lives along the way.

It was mostly a fun, low-stress adventure, and I am so proud of my little gal!!

• BabyBjorn Smart Potty — This is the little potty we used at home and brought along for outings. It’s compact, easy to clean, and small enough to tuck inside a tote bag at the bottom of the stroller. My aunt gave us two, so one lived in the car, which made leaving the house much easier.

• Jool Baby potty-training seat — This is a foldable toddler seat that I carry with me. While she still prefers her little potty most of the time, we’re slowly practicing with this so we can eventually stop carrying the BabyBjorn potty into every public bathroom.

• Small seat attachment — I just bought this so we can attach it to the big toilet at home. Since we share a bathroom with the rest of the house, it makes the potty more approachable for her without getting in anyone else’s way.

• Let’s Go to the Potty! — We read this for a couple of months before officially starting. I think having books like this around helped the potty feel familiar long before there was any pressure to actually use it.

• We Poop on the Potty — Such a silly book, but this was somehow the one that really got through to her. After reading it, she became much more interested in consistently trying the potty herself. Whatever works, friends!

While cold turkey is right for some families, it’s totally okay to still use diapers if you don’t want to stress when you’re out and about. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing. It’s still a tool available to you while you make the transition! I have no regrets about the way we went about it, and now that we’re on the other side, it feels like such a tiny blip.

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So I shared a little carousel on Instagram the other day about some things I don’t do as a mom, and I wanted to expand on it over here. Bonus post this week before I drop some major news on Thursday (well, I think Thursday.. we’ll see).

Bye Bye, Baba: Our Pacifier Weaning Journey

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My daughter is about to turn two, and for most of her life, sleep has involved some combination of “mama’s milkies” and her pacifier, which she calls her “baba”. She only uses it for naps and nighttime, but it has become a very important ritual in helping her fall asleep. Usually, she nurses > asks for her baba > and then rolls over… and then it repeats throughout the night.

🫶🏼 read more slow & thoughtful reflections here

☁️ browse my favorite cozy tools & resources here

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