The paper gown

Things happen and then are forgotten as if they hadn’t happened.

Or they are scribbled on scraps, then forgotten, as if they hadn’t been scribbled on scraps.

Sometimes tiny things drop in. Sometimes they drop out. Same with large things.

Humans have no natural predators, except, it seems, each other — at times. But here at Forest Lakes, we’re kinder, gentler, older. We speak in complete sentences fairly often and don’t always hold a screen in our hands.

A former preacher, a former professor and a former aristocrat walk into a bar. This is not the set up to a joke. It’s a frequent event at Forest Lakes, our not-Old-Age-Home.

A psycholinguist, an ethnomusicologist, and a self-proclaimed genius, walk into a bar. This happens every day. Only the self-proclaimed genius changes, since we have many here.

We have an expert on moths whose most prized specimen fell into his drink. He dried and mounted it. We also have a lichenologist. She studies moss. Moths and moss. Go figure.

A few of my friends live each day like it could be their last. And thank God, that’s been wrong so far.

My friend G has gotten worse. She can’t hold anything in her hands or her mind. I bring her to the Old Age Clinic which is not called the Old Age Clinic.

We head to the dining center of excellence. Well, not quite, but it is where we eat. We see Mr. Scared D. Pants. He’s a resident who does not light up a room.

Later, my friend Tommie says, Given the decision between spending an evening with him and getting a Pap smear, bring on the paper gown. The cute kind, please.

There are two marketing associates selling three types of residences which are called forever homes. The first level is Stellar. Stellar means basic. Like Grande means small at Starbucks.

The top tier is for people who keep most of their assets offshore.

The website shows lots of pics of fancy celebrations, like they happen every day. The kind with scallops wrapped in bacon, or shrimp wrapped in bacon, on endless artful platters served with endless wine. Also people having a great time playing tennis and pickleball on courts not located here.

If we have a suggestion or concern, we can email Town Hall. We all get the same reply, which is “Thank you for writing to Town Hall.” That’s it. Not a word more than that.

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